These are the rules

On my way home from a teaching test, I found myself in a bit of a situation. Normally, people coexist on the subway with little to no interaction with strangers. We all have agreed to some unspoken pact that no one is to speak or touch. Today the rules were violated.

I was sitting close (but not too close) to two people. Then a woman got on the train and wedged herself between me and the woman on my left. There was not nearly enough room for her to fit--she had to sit on the edge of the bench and I was smooshed into the man next to me. I became obviously distressed. I was touching not one but two people! I had to get out of the situation without violating the no speaking rule. After a moment of panic, I stood up. I am sure that I had mildly pissy look on my face--allowing other people on the train to know that I would never so blatantly violate the rules.

Then, I sat in someones seat who got off the train at the next stop. Then, the lady who knows no boundaries got off at the stop after that one. Then, I realized my disgust at the situation may mean I have lived in NY too long.

So cold

After a whole afternoon spent out and about so I could enjoy the warmth of buildings with heat, I returned to my icy apartment. Here on the second floor, there has been a heat issue for a little bit. I didn't pay much attention until the day that putting on one more layer didn't really solve the problem...neither did the application of the next 3 layers. My nose is cold. My fingers are actually colder than I thought possible. And, my computer screen is cold. My computer screen! It's madness (and much too close to the outside temperature of 28 degrees).

Then saw this online...it might be something to look into.

good things of the day

Some of my students have lives with challenges that are beyond my experience. One came to school without a winter coat on a day that was about 40 degrees. I told someone in the school and the next day a coat was found. Sometimes (just sometimes) my school does something good.

Dance it out (life)

Sometimes I find myself dancing it out. For those of you who don't know what dancing it out is, it is basically a whole body, arm pumping, dance walk thing. It's done when something makes you happy, very happy. Like a cup of coffee or something funny. In September I was dancing it out quite often. Life was good, I was happy. Then I was distracted with a variety of things. There had been no dancing it out. Tonight it returned. One of my last classes for the semester was cancelled. So, I danced it out...all the way down the hallway.

Waking up (life)

For my big three oh, I got an alarm clock that works with my iPod. I love it. This morning, I was woken up by a playlist that has The Flaming Lips, the Stray Cats, Iris Dement and John Pryne, and Django Reinhardt. Ooo, fun. In the olden days, I would have been woken up by whatever annoying radio station my old, wonky alarm picked up.

Let me explain the wonk.

I'm the kind of person who tries to trick herself into actually waking up by having the alarm across the room. I heard that if the actual alarm doesn't do the trick (which it really never did), the walk to turn it off would wake me up. But, the person who said that had never met me. I can sleep like a champion - before and after a variety of things that may seem rousing to others.

When I lived in Arizona, one morning, I pulled myself out of my warm bed and walked across my room to take care of the blaring alarm. My sleepy shuffle across the rug combined with the dry air of Arizona, causing me to pick up a lot of static electricity. When I touched the alarm, the whole thing shorted out for a second and then restarted itself. Since then, my radio alarm clock had been a radio/buzzer alarm...which feel under the category of most annoying thing ever. But it still, officially, did its job - told the time, woke me up (albeit, a little angry) - I had a hard time parting with the clock. It seemed want-y. That is, until I met my new alarm clock. I love my new alarm clock.

I forgot

Somehow, I forgot that I love two things: The Dog Whisperer and pretzel goldfish. Tonight, I was reminded. Faux TiVo will now help me remember about the Dog Whisperer. I'm going to have to think of something for the pretzel goldfish.

Funny things they say (teaching)

Today, my students entertained me. After I asked if there was a song in Bengali that we could sing along with the Christmas carol being forced upon us by the school, one of my students who is Muslim said, "Oh, don't worry. I celebrate Christmas, too." He then sang Jolly Old St. Nicholas as the highest soprano in the class. [In case you are wondering, I didn't present the whole Christmas song angst with quite the same tone when I discussed the issue with the kids.]

Then, after several students found my somewhat hidden family pictures by my desk and asked me who everyone was, one of my students exclaimed, "Hey! I have a white grandma, too." I love my students. Love them.

An end of an era (life)

This is my last official day of my 20s. Unfortunately, I'm spending it home sick. But, the extra couch time is giving me a chance to reflect and I like to reflect.

I've tried to reflect in prose form...but, it's not working. I need a list.
In ten years I have:
*Moved from college, to Arizona, to DC, to New York and am pretty sure I'm not done yet.
*Tried out several jobs until I found one that makes me so happy.
*Traveled lots and lots (numbers provided upon request)
*Tried new things and became less afraid, even though I still have a list.
*Kept old friends close and was so lucky to find new old friends.

Exactly one year ago, I talked about the things I wanted to do this year. I think I was able to live my life in a way that makes me happy. Now, I am about to begin a new decade. I am so excited for all of the things that will come. I hope that I can find new things to make me happy, learn new things about myself, and have a few new adventures. I guess we'll find out.

A perfect Sunday (life)

Today has been filled with good things; it is possible I am the only one that thinks of this stuff as good. But, hey, it's my day.

First, I found a little fix to a problem I thought was huge. The solution was easy and Christmas is no longer ruined.

Then, there was a shopping trip where I got to park and then go to two stores! In my neck of the woods, this is unique--there was no walking miles between stores, no subways, no buying only what you can carry home. I was able to meet my grocery and my Staples needs in one shot.

I am currently on my way to making a new dinner. I stick with the same old, same old a little too often. I could have a new something to add into the mix.

Now, while my possible new favorite food bakes, I'm watching some NOVA. I am learning about a family in Turkey that used to walk on all fours. Someone took the time to look into the situation and find ways to change something the family thought was a curse.

Turkey and Pie (life)

I have just consumed my fair share of Thanksgiving food--I am stuffed with tasty turkey and pie. As I have been told, turkey makes you sleepy. It also seems to make me happy. Which is probably why I want to say Happy Thanksgiving.

Great Italian Escape (life)

I've had several great Italian escapes lately. The first one was when I saw this older man, about 60, file his nails on the subway. His hair was in a DA (Fonzie style), all of his clothes were black, and his shoes were old school loafers. Normally I'm anti nail care in public places. I think it's nasty and will not subject you to the exact issues I have--too gross. But, this man had a special pocket for his metal nail file. This man had a system for filing his nails on the subway. Well, I guess anywhere, really. I got the distinct feeling that he could probably do something else with a nail file, should the need arise. But, at that moment, it was just for his nails.

The other great Italian escape has been (and is currently) watching a little Jamie Oliver cook all over Italy. It's been a long time since I've watched regular old TV. These days, it's all about faux-TiVo. I only watch what I have on my list. Right now, I'm at my parents, enjoying what commercial filled TV has to offer. I actually have no idea if I have this channel at home. But, I'm going to look. I have a weak spot for Jamie Oliver. He cooks for kids. We're the same age. And, he has a VW bus. I'm ready to cook. I need his book.

Why malls are bad, bad places (life)

Last night, I could not hide from my suburban roots and had to spend some q.t. in a mall. It had everything I needed right in one structure (a place to get glue and a new shirt). It also has Ikea. I love Ikea.

So, I was doing my thing, finishing up my wander through Target when I heard an announcement that they were closing the door to the mall and would be opening it back up in one hour. Immediately after that announcement, the gates came crashing down. There was no warning announcement, as is customary in those situations. I had a cart full of junk I had just carefully picked out from the thousands of options and was so confused by what was happening. So, I stood there, stuck in the mall, trying to figure out what to do.

I could have walked around the perimeter of the huge building, past some scary, scary dark loading docks, or I could wait it out. I'm basically a chicken. So, I waited, locked in Target for an hour. I scrounged a meal from the snack counter and seriously considered some unnecessary purchases. As soon as I noticed the gates had been raised, I headed for the hills. On my way out, I found out that there was some strange fund raiser/meet a reality TV star event happening that made it necessary for me to be locked in the mall on a Sunday night.

The whole experience of literally being stuck in a place for shopping seemed so fitting for Long Island and is probably a scenario many dream about. However, that's just never really worked for me.

It was a dark and stormy night (teaching)

Recently, I went to a training for my teachers at my school. We were
supposed to learn ways to help the children write more interesting
stories. They told us we should encourage them to start by writing
about the weather. My sarcastic self cannot always be contained. With
a slightly indignant tone, I (loudly) responded, "Like it was a dark
and stormy night?!?"

Tonight, I am thinking about that little slip of actual self in the
professional environment (which I normally try to avoid like the
plague) because it currently IS a dark and stormy night.

Change of Subject (life)

So, I've been ever so slightly cranky recently. It could be due to the
fact that I'm in a sleepy/hungry/busy bit of life. Or, it could just
be one of those things. Right now, in an effort to return to my
overly-positive typical approach to the day, I'm going to make a
partial list of the things that are good, despite the current crank.
*getting out of class early and taking time to do exactly what I want to do.
*party shuffle bringing me Team Zissou for 45 seconds of musical joy.
*being told my new bulletin board looks like something that teachers
used to do before they took the fun out of teaching.
*creative approaches to hobbies.
*plans for fun in the future.
*a Thanksgiving preview with my family this weekend--this means I'll
get to eat my favorite meal twice this year! Woo-hoo!
*a year that held things I never imagined possible (more about this in
the yearly birthday blog that's only a few weeks away).
*so many ways to stay connected with the important people in my life,
despite geographic challenges.
*very colorful file folders that are changing my life (or at least my
filing system).
*warm, warm clothes on cold, cold nights.

I think this might have helped. I could go on with this lists. But, I
have some TV I've been neglecting and thanks to my faux-Tivo, I can go
watch it right now. Ahhhh.

Paper work (teaching)

Today, I did some multiplication. As a part of my job, I have to keep little notes on each of my students each week. I also have to have the students produce one "published" piece of writing each month (this involves a drafting, writing, revising, editing, and publishing process). There is also some things like tests, planning for the lessons, random forms to fill out on a daily basis etc. etc. But, we will not think about that stuff.

I have 12 students. For each of them, there are 3 conferencing notes per week and one writing sample per month. So, 3 times 4 times the 12 students is 144. Add in the writing samples and you have 156 things per month. 156. I only have 12 students. A teacher who has 32 students has 416 things. This is the reason I can never actually be done with my work. I have to keep up with 144 individual things to hand in per month.

I don't know if this is less or more than anyone else in the world. We all work hard. We all have lots to do. I've just never done the multiplication before.

Birthday (life)

Bunny turned 80. I'm turning 30. I thought that I was okay with the fact that my celebration of 30 happened this summer (I went to India). Then I read about Bunny's birthday and I wonder if I should be doing something more...

Brief Blog (life)

I came accross this Anais Nin quote today and it gave me pause. I
thought I'd share it with you.

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more
painful than the risk it took to blossom."

Election Day (life)

Today, I went to my local p.s. and voted. All went smoothly--no lines, I signed next to my name, the people were nice, and I knew who I wanted to vote for (except for the judges--I didn't know anything about the judges). The only thing I was a little upset about was the fact that I did not get a sticker. I enjoy the sticker. And, I had planned on showing it to my students [they are preoccupied with the things I do and I want use my slight influence sphere to encourage democracy.]

As I was waiting in the gym, I thought about the last time I voted. That experience was also devoid of the whole voting fiasco thing. But, a dog came into the gym, stole a bagel from the people working the polling station, and ran around wild for quite some time. It was a big dog. I'm a chicken. After he stole the bagel, I felt safe. But, before then, I was so sure I was going to end up on the cover of a newspaper as the girl mauled while voting.

Quarter Century Mark

Today, my friend turns 25. She and I have been lock-step in this crazy teaching program since the first summer. Besides the value of having someone reach the same exact frustration levels at the same time, reminding me that it will be all over soon, and having paper when I forget mine, our relationship is so special--we are now almost related and the knowledge she has about me is practically incriminating.

To celebrate her birthday, I'm going to make a list of funny things I have seen and/or things that made me smile today.

*A man with perfectly feathered hair. It was totally 80s.

*The poster for a Greek singer's CD release (all in Greek, of course)--he had a tiny little moustache. At first I thought it was ridiculous. Then, I realized he was following in the Yanni tradition of singer = facial hair.

*The old man we ate dinner next to tonight had a book with him to read. It was Frosty the Snowman related.

*I talked about the Brooklyn garbage book and remembered how much you love that book.

*I looked at a necklace and thought it would be nicer if it was in pink.

I'm glad that we can take walks, eat at Sam's Diner, reflect on what we've learned in the year and make goals for the next year. It's so good.

Happy Birthday!

A day of work (teaching)

Today, I did not step into my classroom at any point during the day. I had day one of a 7-day training course that is going to be stretched over the next few months. My official workday ends at 3:20. Today, I found myself standing on a subway platform at exactly that time. As I stood waiting for my friend, I was thinking about the fact that I was not tired, covered in marker, and rushing. It was nice. Then, someone called my name...one of my students came into the subway and was calling me. She ran over and gave me a hug. We talked about how much we missed one another. I told her I'd be back tomorrow and said goodbye. Even with it’s never ending struggles and overwhelming nature, moments like this show me that I much prefer teaching to any other job.