halloween, again (life)

Last night, after moving for 12 hours, I went out in the city. I got to play a very fun game called Halloween or not-Halloween. Basically, you had to guess if the outfits worn by others were costumes or just what they wore to go out. The giant merman in Saranwrap was easy [Halloween]. The man in leather and the girl in some 80s get-up still have me confused.

Now, I must finish taking apart my computer, call a friend for his birthday, and get used to the fact that my roommate and I will now be able to be more than 15 feet from one another in the new place.

Happy extra hour.

halloween costume (life)

While walking around in my AmeriCorps packing hat, I came across my button for with propaganda for a fair contract for teachers, remembered my bomb-to-dove button I packed a little bit ago, and realized that I have an idea for a Halloween costume. I could be a bleeding-heart liberal. I already have all of the trappings. I could unpack my Birkenstocks, some Ithaca t-shirt, and be set to go.

last days in my apartment (life)

I am a sentimental person. I remember keeping one pair of smelly, old sneakers for a very long time because I had walked through New Zealand, Ithaca and Canada in them. If I find photos, I will stop everything and tell stories to whom ever is around me. I think of conversations I have had and get caught up in the details of what was happening and how I was feeling. Moving is always an exercise in sentimentality.

I am alone in my apartment right now, thinking about all of the things I have done here, all of the memories I created while this was my home. I think of the people who have drifted back into my life while this was my home; some were distant acquaintances and others were close friends who had been inaccessible for many reasons. I think of those who have drifted from my life because of geography, death and other reasons.

And, I think about what my 28 year held for me. I moved in a few weeks before my birthday and will be leaving with only a few weeks left to this year of life. It has been a good year in so many ways. I learned that I want to become a good teacher, have become more comfortable with who I am, and feel very close to so many people. I think, this year has also held some of my hardest times. It feels so strange to leave those things behind.

But, now, I will have another place to create memories and a whole new year. I could never have predicted all of the things that this last year held for me. In one year from today, I am sure that I will feel the same about all that is to come. That brings comfort.

time delay of 24 hours due to something funny w/ the computer (life)

originally called OATMEAL CAN KILL YOU (life)

Today, I returned home to the smell of gas filling my apartment. I went to the stove and jiggled the handles, accidentally creating a somewhat larger than normal puff of fire when I moved the broken knob for the back burner. I opened up all of the windows and (not realizing I was taking my life into my own hands for the second time in a few moments) turned on my roommates fan to exhaust. After making a few phone calls, I realized that I needed to go evacuate my landlady, her baby granddaughter, and 4 big dogs just in case.

Turns out, I probably hit the broken knob for the back burner this morning while I was making my oatmeal. The nice man from the gas company said that the whole oven/stove is weird and I should not, I repeat NOT touch the knob for the oven.

The whole episode taught me to never, ever, turn on anything electrical when you smell gas. Don't switch lights on, don't turn on exhaust fans, etc. It reminded me of my other run in with deadly gas (carbon monoxide in a basement apartment in DC) and the lessons I learned from that one; a headache can be caused by stress or carbon monoxide and, yes, carbon monoxide can kill you.

Beside learning some basic safety rules, I also got to play with the baby granddaughter for a little bit while waiting for the gas man. I am a big fan of the babies. I think something maternal kicked in while we waited outside the house.

stuck inside (life)

Today, I spent about 15 minutes outside of my apartment. I watched a movie (Iron Jawed Angels--very good), went through papers, transferred my address book, read a little more of The Namesake, and not a whole lot else. I should be packing. I should be reading something about Applied Behavioral Analysis for my midterm. But, I'm not.

For the rest of the night, I will try to avoid the loud noise that seems to be coming from the power plant down the block. And, maybe, just maybe, I'll put some clothes in a bag.

the deer population of major urban environments (teaching)

The deer population of my college campus increased by 13 as all of my fellow students and I ran around the hall pretending to be deer and/or the things deer need to survive. We were experiencing a lesson that tracked changes in population over generations by running back and forth seeking or being food, shelter and water.

And, we were doing this as other classes were letting out. A man walked through all of us saying, "I'm walking through a game," over and over on his cell phone. Many people had looks of confusion. But, I ran up and down the hall (with everyone else) and got the food or shelter I wanted. Now, I can teach an environmental science curriculum. And, as a fan of the cheese, I got to pretend to be a deer. Really, that's enough in my book.

me, as a shoe (life-ish)

This morning, as I was getting ready to leave for school, I looked down at my feet and felt that my shoes/socks/pants combo actually captured the person I think I am. I am not sure if this is something I should admit on a public forum. But, it did. So, I took a picture (also something I'm not sure if I should admit publicly). Here it is…me, as a shoe.

Some of the other things that made me smile today were:

• Being given the hand of a paper clock by a student in an attempt to make me feel better.
• Having an old student cover her eyes because my shirt slipped up beyond my pant waist for a second; she told me she was going to wait for me to fix my shirt.
• Signing a new lease and realizing that I accidentally left my ‘hood.
• Signing a new lease!
• And, passing the restaurant with a big eye above the door, on the walk home from signing a new lease, and realizing I will be living a lot closer to there in a few days. Anyone up for Eqyptian food?
  

2-4-6-8, first grade is really great (teaching)

I recently received an actual apple from a student. She, very sweetly, gave me something wrapped in tinfoil in the morning and it took a moment for me to realize that she was giving me an apple. I remember how much I loved my teachers when I was little and sometimes cannot believe that I occupy that role for my students.

Each day is filled with 25 loving little 5-6-7 year olds. They do all of these things that make me laugh: balance books on their heads, clap when I say it's time for writing, tell me that I am the best teacher in the world...and so is my coteacher and the para, break down into laughter when I am giving them a test and it uses the name of a student in the class, and will lean in for a hug if I am standing within a foot radius.

My attitude impacts them in so many ways. When I am calm, they are calm. When I am happy, they are happy. This year, I feel like I am coming closer to more consistently creating a positive place for them to learn. I am glad that I am right here.

By the way, the 2, 4, 6, 8 is a minute math lesson I did this week--chants help us learn to count by twos. I have pomes about pennies and a little dance for counting by tens. Well, it’s not really a dance, it’s more of a slight movement repeated over and over.

things move fast (life)

By noon today, a new apartment had been found and the deposit was placed. The new apartment is one mile away, has lots of open space, windows on three sides, and felt like home. I will be walking a little further to public transportation...but, I am looking forward to having people come over and be able to be comfortable, relaxed.

There is a part of me that is feeling a little stunned. It makes sense to me to take trains over long distances and mentally prepare yourself for a new place. It makes sense to me to take a long drive with a friend I have not seen in a long time so we can really catch up. It makes sense to me to begin cooking meals hours in advance. Realizing it is time to move, looking for apartments, and finding something in less that 48 hours is a little overwhelming. But, this is the speed my community moves. My emotions will catch up to my reality and I'll be fine soon. Besides, I have to get busy packing and do not have time to think about this anymore.

who has boxes? or 8 apartments/3 states/7 years (life)

Today, through bizarre conversation with my landlady's daughter, it has become apparent that I will be moving in what can be measured in days. I have know that this was coming and have looked forward to moving away from the kennel downstairs. But, until tonight, all thoughts and conversation have been in the abstract (i.e. won't it be nice to have more space, we should look for something near here, and have you looked at this apartment with a turret on Craigslist?). Now, it is real and I have that excited/anxious feeling I get when I need to move.

Within 15 minutes of the conversation with the landlady's daughter, we had 4 appointments set up to look at stuff and posted something on our local web-based forum. I am planning the packing outfit that I need to create (the best one from all the moves of my past was an apron with a pocket, a fleece vest to ward of the cold of the basement apartment I was living in at the time, packing tape worn around my upper arm, and a cowboy hat).

If you need any old junk, wish to help me pack a box, or know of a really great apartment, please let me know. Don't worry, the blog will follow me.

one more thing...(life)

Recently I have discussed missing friends living far and wide and the emotional unrest I am experiencing. Then, I became so overwhelmed by a conversation with my coteacher that seemed to usurp all of my efforts to coteach.

But, I forgot one thing in all of this self-pity. I get to take walks when completely frustrated and talk about teaching at length with someone who understands what I am going through in a very unique way. I don’t know what I would do without these walks. If things continue the way they have been, I think I may need to walk to a new borough.

there is one that will never be seen-but, this one is melodramatic, too...(life)

Do you ever feel like you are pushing through something? On a pivot point, about to make changes? Today, that is how I feel. I am not sure what brought this on (I was just doing laundry when it struck). Now, I am in the midst of minor states of confusion about several topics. If you would like to spend time questioning the world, how we should live our lives, or the intent of others, please feel free to call. Otherwise, you might want to give me a day or two.

My poor friend...I'm visiting her and her babies tomorrow. I did not expect to be in one of those moods that make my eyebrows go down. Maybe time in the car will do me good.

I thought that my sliding scale was a 1-4 rubric (one = the worst, 4 = the best). Today, it's a 1-10, w/ 1 being almost never and 10 being a lot. Unrest is coming in at an eight.

weekend is here (life)

My first mini-week has ended and another one will begin after this long weekend. I am currently sitting in comfortable clothing (my only effort towards falling asleep) and a little bit board. I watched a movie with Samala and am now looking for entertainment. Unfortunately, my apartment is a bit devoid of entertainment that I want to take part in at the moment and it is rainy outside. So, I'm forced to sit here and wait to fall asleep. I could read, or knit, or clean. But, I'd rather blog (even as I sit here without a real focus).

There are these people in my life that I never get to see and the level of missing I feel for them is on a sliding scale. Right now, I would love to have a small gathering of DC friends, out west friends, and all points north friends over for a little dinner. Someone would bring wine. I'd have some vegetable based foods. We would sit and talk. It would be good and easy. Instead, I have to think about the events we now share with one another. Some get together for New Years and 4th of July. Some get together for winter gatherings. And, others are more individualized trips. Those times are good. And, it seems like the time in between is fast. Is this how life is...a series of events strung between normal life?

I think the tired is kicking in. Maybe I'll go start a letter to Amils. That always makes me so sleepy. She ends up getting multi-day letters stuffed in an envelope. It's more like a diary...a blog, if you will. But, with the great sound that pen and paper creates when combined.

Sleep well.

{p.s. the sliding scale can be applied to many levels in my life...level of confusion, obsession, dedication, and observation. I wonder if it will make an appearance again?}

{p.p.s. just so you know, confusion is a 2, obsession is a 2.4, dedication is a 3, and observation is a 1 at the current moment.}

my walk along the highway or why you should always bring a map (life)

I live in a place where people do not spend time out of doors. We walk from subway to building, sometimes eat in parks where there is wildlife like squirrels and rats, and call the suburbs the country. Here, I am the outdoorsy type. I have fleece. I camp. I can tell a bird from a cricket.

Those of you who know me know that I do love the outdoors. You also know the fact that I am more of a prep chef to a head chef when it comes to some of the big hiking stuff. I would not say I have the best sense of direction. I sometimes forget to pay attention to the markers. And, I am not always fully prepared. But, because I normally hike with people who have major outdoor cred (animal trackers, national park passes, major adventurers, etc), my own lack of ability is normally not a problem.

Today, I was in charge. My friend from school wanted to go for a hike and I wanted an excuse to get out of the city. When we found the trail head, we were disappointed that the information center closed on Labor Day. But, at the suggestion of a man that looked like the guy from Right Said Fred, we decided to do a 3 hour loop to a lake. The first part of the walk was great. We constantly chose the path without the people. We were surrounded by trees, the sound of birds, and a stream. We talked to an old man with all sorts of knowledge about the area and told me where I could buy a trail map. Who would have guessed this conversation would foreshadow things to come. We overshot the lake at the end of the trail, looping around and loosing all of the markers for our trail. We found our way out of the woods by following an access road that dumped us out onto the main road. Because I was also without a compass, I had to rely on the positioning of the sun, a guess from a passing cyclist I accosted, and the force to decide which way we had to walk along the highway. After a little more than an hour, we finally found our original trail head and my Honda.

I am now in possession of a map and a book to help make me an informed hiker. Maybe I will join the trail conference the old man talked about so I can start to have more ability to take care of business in the woods. It's time for me to up my own outdoors cred. Learning to find my way in and out of the only semi-local wooded area could do wonders for my ability to survive my time in this city.