HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2006!!!! [Where is Baby New Year when you need him? It would make the blog so much better.]

Old world style (life)

I had an epiphany about last night. I was, and continue to be, surrounded by old world style men in my current life. I listened to a man tell tales about the Soviet army (a father of a friend) to a younger man who once said, "I understand the pregnant part...but, why barefoot?" (a friend who is an English language learner and doesn't understand some idioms). They are both wonderful. I have been a recipient of kindness from both of them. I actively solicit my friend's interaction in my life. But, I think it's messing me up. I think that I may be buying into some crazy gender roles a little too much.

Where is the me of years ago? Have I let go of the Ani DiFranco listening, argumentative, do something for the sake of doing it me? Have I become the first grade teacher archetype?

I know that it's not that easy. My days of feminist chapstick are gone. But, there are ideals that I hold central to my self. Part of me feels as if I have let some things slip too far away. I need to be the punk-rock teacher...well, really I just need to not care too much of what other want/expect and do what I think is right. That's the liberation of it all....

I'm off to WV (it's really the western part of VA--my mistake) for new years. DC folks are getting together and I will be happy, in the happy johnny sense of it all.

much love.

Transit strike info and putty (life)

I was going to regale you with stories of the flushed candy cane...but, instead, I've decided to share some very good reading.

Number One: The most honest view of the transit strike I know of (to date)

Number Two: A photo of the most silly putty I've ever seen in one place (also, to date).

I do believe that I'm in a mood. I think it has something to do with hearing Russian all night.

I'm home (life)

I've finally made my way back to my apartment. It is quieter (and a little more messy) than I remembered. I am going to a friend's for dinner tonight. But, I have a few hours to collect myself before I have to run out of the door again.

Really, I just want to knit some scarves and make thank you cards with all of my new stuff. But, I'll go and it will be fun. Besides, I didn't return my netflix and am currently rewatching Murderball. The evening at home would probably get boring pretty quickly.

If nothing good happens tonight, I’ll tell you about the candy cane in the toilet in tomorrow’s blog…it’s a definite crowd pleaser.

merry christmas

merry christmas to all i love. i wish you all peace and joy.

Mac and Cheese or the night that never ended (teaching)

The transit strike has had some strange impacts on my life. I have invited strangers to stay in my home and borrow my car. I have been asked if I'm dating a male coworker because he drove me to and from work. I have taught for approximately 5 hours in 3 days and slept to 7 for the first time in a long time.

Today, I walked to school. It was not bad. It took exactly 40 minutes. I was asked if I wanted a ride by 3 cars...they all needed one more person to get to the 4 person minimum for crossing bridges. [I really had it easy. Some people had such crazy walks. Others have been separated from families for days. But, now everything is back to normal.] After school, my roommate picked me up and we went shopping. It was probably not the smartest thing for me to involve anyone else in my shopping; it is a high stress experience and no one really needs to be exposed to that on their free time.

While at the stores, I remembered that I needed to make food for my students' party tomorrow. I could not figure out what it was that 6 year olds eat. So, I have attempted to make my mom's macaroni and cheese. It's not Kraft. I'm not sure if I put in enough cheese/milk/flour/butter for the 2 lbs. of noodles. I don't think anyone will eat it at the party. But, it's made and waiting to be placed in my car and brought to school for the normal school opening time.

Tonight, it was as if events were getting in the way of me actually stopping the day. I'm going to have to wake up very soon. My dreams may be about macaroni...which will be much better than the Greek infused dreams of late.

Asian Bird Flu (teaching)

Today, I drove to work because of the transit strike. It was no big deal for me (I am pretty sure that I am of the few who can say this statement). I was going to walk the 2 miles. But, because it was 20 degrees and I was running unbelievably late, I decided to drive. So, I drove. I ended up walking to the entrance of my school from a different street than normal. It was at that point where I saw one of the men from my building, standing behind a locked gate, holding a chicken. It was early. I had not had much coffee. I said, "Nice chicken" and kept walking. When I was just about to turn to the other block, I realized what I had seen and turned back to reconfirm that I had, in fact, just seen a man with a chicken in the middle of the NYC.

If I had not turned around, I would not be in my current predicament. He was trying to hop the fence with the chicken in his hand. Of course he could not do it. So, without much though, I turned around asked if he needed help and then TOOK THE CHICKEN. He was up and over the fence in practically no time and I was on my way. When I came into the school, I was going to launch into my funny chicken story when I realized everyone was agitated. They told me about the chicken I already knew about as soon as I stepped in the door. Then, they proceeded to tell me that the guy was going to be in trouble [we work in an elementary school so we talk like elementary students], that animal control said don't touch it, and then I kind of freaked out. I felt like I was going to get some nasty chicken disease. My logical self says that there is nothing to fear--the chicken looked fine.

When I told my roommate that the chicken looked fine, she asked if it had any symptoms. I said it had body aches. She asked if it had a stuffy beak.

gifts (life)

I have just spent one hour trying to look for Christmas gifts on Amazon.com. I am of the generation that should be able to do everything from my computer. I pay my bills, talk to my friends, and stay current on the events of the world with the help of my keyboard. I can't remember the last time I talked to an actual person to buy airline tickets. But, I cannot bring myself to do my gift shopping online. I don't know what it is that stops me. Theoretically, it fits my busy life style and my difficult life style. Maybe it is because it is too impersonal. Maybe it is because I have not found the perfect shopping site. Now, I have a few days to actually find my sister's/mother's/father's/brother's/grandmothers'/friends' gifts...without being aided by technology.

one more thing...(teaching)

The official blog of Google said that "Hugging for 20 seconds has been shown to reduce blood pressure." On Friday, I know that I hugged each of my first graders once after lunch (they were well behaved and I was very proud of them) and received a mountain of random hugs from some of the little guys who are the inspiration for a daily hug limit. Perhaps my need for 15 hours of sleep one night a weekend is not due to exhaustion. Rather, it's because I've had so many hugs that my blood pressure is almost nonexistent.

can you play hockey? (life)

This morning, I woke up and watched a hockey movie. By 9:00 a.m., I was caught up in the whatever it is of victory and the agony of defeat. I have an unexpected reaction to sports related movies. When I have the chance to watch the movie where everyone plays hockey in Alaska, the one about the Jamaican bobsled team, or Wildcats (my favorite), I take it and then I remember that I love sports.

Because I do not like to watch games on TV and do not follow sports, I sometimes forget that I actually love a lot about sports. I have vivid memories of going to see the Islanders play when I was little, the Mets play with friends who are major fans, and a local Australian Rules Rugby team play when I lived in New Zealand. I cannot separate the game from all of the symbolic stuff--the dedication, the focus, the athleticism. In fact, I often think about the symbolic stuff when the game part gets boring.

Just like my interest in running and football peaked after I saw Wildcats, my dedication to swimming came out of no where for 2 weeks after some Summer Olympics, my new found interest in hockey may leave me at some point. But, for now, I'm very interested in trying to figure out if I could get a puck down the ice...well, first I'd try to skate without a hockey stick, to see if I hurt myself, then I'd try again with the extra equipment.

I am now 5/8 of a Master

As of 7 p.m. tonight, I completed my last class for the semester. To celebrate, I wore a tie with my tanktop/sweater combination, stole Wilma Rudolph’s basketball, and felt a huge sense of relief to come home and know that I do not have to write another paper for more than a month. The winter break is an amazing time for me...I will get to focus on teaching and myself for many days in a row. I will eat food that is not dispensed from a coil in a vending machine, I will see the inside of my gym, and I will not have to write a paper about why everything I learned in my Applied Behavior Analysis/Science Teaching Methods/Social Studies Teaching Methods class will completely revolutionize my approach to teaching (which is usually a bit of a stretch). I am happy.

Don't get me wrong, I love school. I enjoy learning. I am usually inspired by the conversation with the other students. Listening to someone talk about what they are passionate about is one of my favorite things. But, I'm a little tired. By January, I am sure I'll enjoy it all again.

But, for now, I am going to read the 6th Harry Potter book and not feel guilt.

[Random aside: As I was driving to school, I drove under a plane that was landing--the road goes right under the flyway for the approach to a big airport. I love when I drive under planes that are landing.]

conversation highlights (life)

two highlights from conversation with my roommate tonight:

• after telling her that it is funny that she doesn't associate with her full name and suggesting that she be called Spike, I was astounded by the way she took to the new name. She worked it into several conversations and I had to call her Spike when we said goodnight.
• "...to keep your pointy toes off of me."

Digest-like entry (life/teaching/school)

You know how some of your favorite sites offer a great digest format of their information. You can get the highlights when you have a time crunch and can't really look at everything. Well, for the past few days, things have been a little crazy and I am going to give an update on my life, in the convenient digest format.

How long does it take to drive from NYC to DC? 21 hours (apx.)
I left my school around 3:30 Friday afternoon, was stuck with millions of others on this horrid parkway that runs between Brooklyn and Queens for 2 hours, and almost fell asleep on the NJ Turnpike. After, I took one of my famous 30 min. rest-stop rests, I decided that I could not drive any more. So, I found a conveniently located hotel and slept from 7:30 p.m. to 8:30 the next morning. I rolled into my friend's house (in VA) around 1 on Saturday afternoon.

What does nostalgia do to a person? lots
I had a great weekend with all of my DC friends. I got to know a new dog. I saw a new home. I forgot my friendliness could be misinterpreted by those who do not know me. And, I had some good drink made of that Pom juice. Lots of antioxidants. I drove through my old neighborhood and realized how much had changed. Everyone lives in a new place. The old neighborhood is barely recognizable. And, I am in a very different place in my life. But, I appreciated the time I got to spend with folks who know me well (even if I've changed). I miss them all and loved how I got to laugh at salsa jokes, discuss all of lifes big issues, and relax in that way you can around people who know who you are at your core all weekend.

Who has the right of way on a city street--a horse or a car? I still don't know
I was cut off by a horse, in front of Central Park, on my way home. I don't know if I was wrong or if the horse was not following the rules of the road. I had just been enjoying my return to the city, realizing that I do think of here as my city, and thinking about all of the things I want to do over the next few weeks that can only happen here...then, the horse cut me off. I wasn't sure if my typical driving expletives should be used in this situation or if it was different because it was a horse.

How long can a person survive class and teaching? 12 weeks (exactly)
My semester is almost over and I could not be happier. I still have 3 semesters to finish off my grad program. But, I need winter break. On my drive back, I decided that I cannot do this anymore and am going to quit teaching and going to school so I can see my friends more. (After 12 weeks of school and mild case of exhaustion, it is such a tempting idea.) I may change my mind once next semester starts. But, I cannot be sure right now. If there is anyone who would like to support me, as I drive around, please let me know.

(FYI--all of this was typed while I was wearing Thai pants and a winter hat)

snow 2 (life/teaching/school)

In all three major areas of my life (me as a teacher, me as a student, and me as me), I feel that crankiness is the major tone. People around me are cranky about their classes, their students, and their papers. I am cranky about my classes, my students, and my papers. Typically, I feel my crankiness has subtle differences from their crankiness. But, today, I realized that is just not true. Sure, I am tired because I have survived 12 weeks of university (with approximately 89 mini-assignments) in combination with 51 days of teaching 5, 6, and 7 year-olds. And, yes, I do have more than one student who thinks that our classroom is a personal obstacle course and a few others that are still acquiring some basic interpersonal skills (i.e. not shaking others, not spitting on others, how to say nice things instead of curses, and how to respect the bathroom we all share by not peeing on the toilet paper). But, really, it could be a lot worse.

I was just IMing a friend and blamed the general malaise of all around me on the change in pressure and/or the negative ions in the air. Really, I think that we, as a collective, might just need to get over ourselves. Since I am not really in charge of anyone else, I'm going to have to just do it myself. I need to stop being overwhelmed and realize that I have it pretty good. I may be sleep-deprived and have had a dramatic reduction on my free time since August. But, the end is near. I'm on my way down to Washington, DC to see a ton of old friends this weekend. I don't know the actual directions to the new house I will be staying at tomorrow. But, I will get there at some point tomorrow night and things will be good. That's just the way things are sometimes.

India (life)

I have a friend living in New Mexico. She and I have a history that holds some of my favorite memories. We have traveled by train across Canada, by camper/cafe through Alaska, and by Honda through Maine. When she lived in Seattle, I took every chance I could get to crash at her house and try to see if that city fit me.

When we are together, we: laugh until our sides hurt, have conversations with strangers, drink lots of hot drinks, and, somehow become a little bit closer than we already were. She and I have been planning on taking a big trip to celebrate our 30th year for quite some time. I believe that the plan came from a conversation about women reaching their physical peak at 30. We are now in the planning mode. We had been talking about going to Guatemala this summer. She has been to 40+ countries and somehow missed Central America (I think). I have been to a few less countries and am game for anything. But, then we realized that it is the rainy season in most of Central American in the summer. So, tonight, after talking with another friend who is going to be studying abroad for a year, I wondered if going to Sri Lanka might be a good option.

As fate would have it, my dear eggplant ( a.k.a. best travel partner) called tonight and wanted to check to make sure that this trip was going to really happen. I told her about Sri Lanka and she mentioned India. Then, she mentioned Laos, Thailand, and a few other Asian countries. I said yes to all of them. The one thing I asked her to do was to have real sit down conversations with me to help me prepared to be a good traveler. I have had some bad habits in the past (the most dangerous was when I told a man who believed the US government has a weather machine which lonesome trail we were camping on that night) and want to make sure that I do not have them anymore.

So, maybe I'll go to India this summer. Or Sri Lanka. Or Laos. I think I could get excited about any of these places.

hard day in the classroom (teaching)

This afternoon, someone made fun of the fact that I am in bed by 9:00 each night. He said that I am missing life because I am in bed so early. I told him that he needs to come into my classroom for the day and see if he is standing after 8:30. But, I think that we both might be right. I have taken a job that does not allow me much space for a personal life. Ms. Frizzle, a fellow teacher blogger, talked about the injustice of teachers shouldering a heft portion of society's responsibility to children in a recent post. It made me think about the responsibility I feel to my students and its tangential relationship to my level of exhaustion.

In the hours after lunch, I was overwhelmed by the life my students have. They are six and they are so tough. Well, most of them are tough. I have had spitters, kids who shake others, cursers, and a child who thought that my response to an eraser theft was because of the color of her skin. How do children start this so early? I don't want to become someone who is not treating children with gentleness and the respect they should be showing one another. However, I need to get things in check in my classroom. There is something going on in my classroom. I'm trying not to hold myself responsible for everything. My coteacher has taught for 19 years and she said they are a needy bunch. But, I am falling into the trap of thinking I am not doing enough, not prepared enough, not understanding enough, something...I think that blambing myself rather than something much larger than me is an easier. I can be fixed. I can learn new things. I can stay longer. The problems of living in the projects, being cared for by babysitters until 9 at night, and growing up in an illiterate home are much more difficult to fix.

Now, it's off to a paper for my class on applied behavior analysis. What a day.

I have been awake for too many hours (school)

Today, I had to wake up at 6:00 a.m. to write a midterm that was due at 9:45 this morning. I procrastinate because my life is a little busy. And, I'm well versed in the art of procrastination. I had to go to a beautiful museum to hand in my paper. By 10, I was sitting and discussing three pieces of art, walking around with fellow teachers who were as tired as I was, and kind of felt a little numb by the end. The class is worth 1.5 credits. Although I do not like to quantify educational experiences, I am not sure if the trade off between my much needed sleep and what I learned at the museum and at the play were a fair trade. This class is making me function beyond the hours I normally enjoy consciousness.

To recover, I must go watch the final disk of Sports Night. I love that show.

snow (life)

It's snowing a little bit. An hour ago, I was walking with friends and I saw snow in the air, flying under the streetlights. I love the snow. I am so happy winter is here.

And, I got to spend time with a good friend. I think we have an intuitive friendship. She just knows. Explanations bring understanding rather than a feeling of frustration. What a lucky person I am.

Do I smell funny? (teaching)

Having 23 small children as a part of each weekday brings some interesting experience to my life. Once, a paper cut got really infected in, like, 12 minutes; a tiny slice became a bit of a science experiment because of the creepy crawlies that make their home on my hands (I'm better about washing my hands now). I see a spectacular range of emotions (pure joy to complete despair) hourly. Paperclips have become choking hazards in my mind. And, most unexpectedly, I have become strangely aware of my appearance. Now, you might be thinking, "Has she suddenly become vain? They are just little kids." But, these little kids are so aware of me that it is a little unnerving.

Yesterday, I wore a new pair of boots. [I am a fan of boots. In my world, skirts are to be worn with very high heals or tall boots. Teach for a day in 3 inch heals and you will know pain. I only forget about the pain once every 2-3 months and can wear a skirt on those days. So, when I got these new (flat) boots, I was excited.] One of my more astute little guys told me he liked my boots. Other than my roommate, the boots went unnoticed by people above 4 foot tall. Several of my other little guys are a little preoccupied with my hair and there is one girl in the school has long conversations with me about the color of my eyes. All of these things kind of make sense though. The kids spend a lot of time around my feet. They are on the rug, I am on a chair. That is boot level. My hair could be seen as a novelty if your mother wears a head scarf. And, if you have brown eyes, my blue eyes are a little different.

Today, however, I became a little unnerved by a comments of one of my students. He asked me if I was wearing perfume after I helped him with his writing. A six-year-old is around me enough to know when I smell different. I did not realize that my own smell was so distinctive that small children would know the days I put on lotion. It's craziness.

Tradition. Tradition. Tradition. (teaching/school/life)

Tonight, I had to go see Fiddler on the Roof. Normally, when people say they had to go do something, they are stretching the truth. In fact, I have been known to do that from time to time. However, tonight, I am taking no liberties. I had to go see a play for a class called Teaching Science and Social Studies Methods (or something like that). It was good. But, I am tired. Like all of the other teachers there, I was ready for bed 45 minutes before the end of the first act. What has my life become when a nine o'clock bedtime is the norm among the people I know?

The play was fine. Harvey Fierstein and his character reminded me of my father. I don't know if it is the fact that the character had lots of daughters or if it was the wide range of voices he used. But, I found myself comparing him (them) to pops. What is it about fathers and daughters? We are bound by something fierce.

In addition to my own familial traditions, this play made me think of a friend who says she can do the bottle dance without Velcro. Amazing, you say...and, I agree. I cannot walk in a straight line on a typical day. She danced some Russian dance with glass in her immediate vicinity. For me, that would just be asking for stitches.

Now, I have to get ready for a day of teaching having had no sleep. I fear for my self. Six-year-olds may eat me alive in the morning. If I don't blog at some point this weekend, just figure they got the best of me.