My poor blog.

Hey. A blog. I have a blog.

I should use it.

I just tried to blog. It was no good. It was, unfortunately, more like a status update. Stupid Facebook. But that one is now erased. 5 years and I've let go of blog fodder. Poor poor blog.

But, I did get Christmas cards. That was a good time.

Life as I know it...33

Amazingly enough, this is my fifth birthday blog (1, 2, 3 & 4 found here). I like to take a moment and reflect upon the year that has passed and make a plan for the year coming. Although I never really integrated the whole concept of 32 into my self image (I thought I was 31 for much of the year), I do still love a look back.

This year was a chapter change for me. I became a married person - something I never thought I would do until I decided to visit LA on my way to India and then knew almost immediately. It has been a completely wonderful transition and I can now not fathom a different path for my life.

While my personal life has become more settled my professional life has become less so. I anticipate change on the horizon. This brings alternating feelings of anxiety and adventure. I am still happy to spend my days with my students. But, the time around the time with them is a different story. I have more to think about before I am able to be definitive on these pages. For now, I think.

I've been caught up in thoughts about a change that happens as people move from their 20s into their 30s. When I began this blog, much of my life revolved around the day to day experiences of friends. My focus has readjusted overtime. I have been feeling bad about this; interpreting the change to social awkwardness and a rediscovered sense of shyness. Perhaps, though, it has more to do with the way I am turning toward my own little family unit than an inability to carry on adult conversation.

Now for the bullet point portion of the evening. Things I plan on doing as a 33 year old:

• Take a ceramics class.
• Continue to write thank you cards (it's a nice thing to do and has not always been in my social repertoire).
• Try to rediscover movement in my life. This has something to do with the analogy of putting on the oxygen mask of others before I put on my own. It's not the way I'm supposed to do it.
• Continue to find ways to have pride of ownership in my home. I love being home and I want to find more ways to extend the good feelings. If this means a iCal alert to clean the baseboards, so be it.
• Try to blog more. There was a request.
• Spend less time consuming and more time creating.
• Make at least one healthy choice each day.
• Continue to use recipes. The results have been wonderful.

Menonite in a Little Black Dress

A while ago, I was waiting for a latte at the local coffee shop, perusing the NYTimes magazine. I found my way to the back page (which I love). The title really drew me in. So I read it. I loved it. I requested the book (Menonite in a Little Black Dress) from the LA Public Library. Forever ago.

When I put in the request, I was number two on the hold list. I am still number two on the hold list. This has brought about some OCD like behaviors. I check the status online. I ask about it when I have to return other books. Then, I wonder if I should just break down and buy a hardcover book. I mean the freekin book is laugh out loud and it uses the word canoodling. The internal strife is building.

If it does not arrive soon, I am so getting this book for the flight back east.

Ah, October

October has begun and I have left a somewhat painful September behind. The school year began with a bang. It was followed up with a few more bangs and then lots of intense meetings. When October rolled around, I was a little bit shell shocked and unsure if I'd make it through the year. But, we've begun to hit our stride. The kids are rocking it...great reading comprehension grades on difficult books, almost 100% homework on a regular basis, math skills everywhere you turn, happy kids and a happy teacher. Ahhhhh.

The Reason I'll Never be a Diplomat

Well, there are actually many reasons. The one that is currently sticking out in my mind is my inability to respond to passive aggressive folks in a non-emotional way. There is a teacher who puts me through my paces at the beginning of each year. It's a struggle to keep the students we share in compliance with their IEPs and it is also a struggle to keep her from slipping into her red zone.

It's one of those things that seemingly easy to mitigate issue is now the albatross around my neck. We've had an exchange in the main office that has caused me to shake and now my fight instinct comes out at the sight of her. I am having a difficult time wanting to interact with her and I just don't know how to let it go.

I think it might be time to learn how to work around this archetype.

Projects and Paninis

I think tonight will be my very first night of projects and paninis. I have some ideas and many yards of fabric that I'd like to make into something. And, I've been interfacing with some amazing bread that's just calling out for panini-ing.

Perhaps it could become a tradition, a social event, where projects are brought together, motivation shared, and panini creations are made and enjoyed by friends. Or maybe just by me. I think either would be good.

And another thing

Ever feel like the world is conspiring? Today is one of those days where I keep turning around and bumping into something. In all sorts of strange places. Boo.

At the Westchester County Fair

I mean the LA County Fair....

It was the annual trip to the fair. I love a field trip. But, I'm not so sure about this one.

High points:

• baby animals
• robotic dinosaurs so realistic it could elicit a flight instinct in a 2nd grader
• bark park with swimming dogs
  

Low points:

• the promise of a shark tank that was actually a poorly lit video, narrated by a kind of strange husband-wife team
  
• No snow expo
  
• 90 degree heat
• rides that we could not ride
• a zebra and an ostrich that were not find-able

Some good, some bad. Although I do love trip, maybe this one doesn't have enough goodness to make me excited when this comes up next year.

Ah, the humanity!

I'm still on my summer kick of reading library books in three sittings (although The Great Bridge will not succumb to my habit, I am sure). Tonight, I put in some q.t. with the book. Loved the book. Was excited to get to the end of the book.

Until I came to the last page, which was not actually the last page. Some bad person has removed the last page (or few pages) from my library book. Erased all trace of the author's carefully chosen words.

Who does that?!?

I was right at the edge of a happy ending.

How I love the First Day of School

My day was filled with little gems that can only happen on the first day of school.

*Conversation about the belly and nerve thing that happens on the first day of school.

*Pro/Con discussion on new shoes when you already have Spidey shoes.

*Compliments strongly requested on backpack coolness.

*Some on my feet distraction to get convince someone to go back into class.

*Band-aids applied to week old wounds as mental support.

*Huge smiles and hugs hello from students.

*A live long and prosper flashed.

I love this stuff.

Nightmares

Totally had school related nightmares last night. Too gross to discuss. Moon bounce related.

(I've always heard that teachers have these things right before school starts. It took year 6 for them to hit me.)

Oh, I forgot

Today, I realized I forgot more than just my usernames to school things over the summer. This blog is a list of the things I've forgotten:

• that the main office at a school is a place I'm drawn to and repelled by, all at the same time
• the way the custodians can rip apart my classroom in an effort to vacuum
• how heavy a kidney shaped table is and how hard it is to unflip it after the afore mentioned vacuuming lands it on another table - legs up
• how to think about something and drive on a freeway without swerving
• how to extract myself from conversations with cranky teachers
• the art of making a classroom look different than the year before
• how to feel a sense of excitement for the beginning of the school year.

I have exactly six days to remember.

Amazing Job

Now, I just have to figure out how to get around our firewalls at school to play this youtube video for my class!

Don't squeeze my pillow!

After some seriously wonderful beds at the lovely Canadian hotels during our 'moon, I became deeply unsatisfied with my flimsy, pancake of a pillow. When I told Dave that I was going to get some new pillows, he jumped on that train. Today's errand extravaganza brought pillows into my path...fluffy, hypoallergenic goodness. But, that's not the blog.

While waiting in line with a cart full of pillows, I realized that the lady standing behind me was on some sort of adrenaline high from shopping. She was talking about a deal she was going to get on a purse she was going to repurpose as a grocery bag, encouraging another woman to buy a robe that did not fit lady #2, and attempted to engaged me in shopping small talk. I thought that I gave her an answer that was both polite and sending the message that I was uninterested in continuing with the conversation. But, it was not over. After I turned around, she went on a sneak attack...she invaded my bubble and squeezed my pillow. She actually squeezed it-leaned over, put her grubby mitts on my pillow and then honked it. I felt as if some stranger came into my home and started going through my bedroom.

Maybe I should not be so indignant about someone touching something that was not technically mine. But, they were in "my" cart. They were on the way to being mine in a matter of moments.

Thankfully they were in a protective zipper case and I'm going to try to let the honking go and try to enjoy the fluffy goodness.

8 days left

Today, my day was filled with checks, checks, checks. First, I had my daily checkin with my sisters, which I am totally loving. A wedding is such a great excuse to video chat everyday! Then, I made a pilgrimage to the shops-Michael's, Nordstrom Rack, Whole Foods, Yolk, and the Mac Store. I needed to finish buying my fancy wedding makeup and was helped by a very nice makeup artist. Within the first few seconds of our conversation, he gave me a ton of tips (rub this face stuff everywhere for a wee bit of glow, use this stuff on your forehead and around your eyes and lips because it has silicon and smooth out your fine lines. In awe of his obvious knoweldge, I ended up flashing the nice make-up artist while discussing my décolletage - but he told me he'd seen everything, so it was okay.

Then I got to pick up my wedding gown.

Ahhhhhh.

Invigorated by all of the checks on my list, I came home and took care of projects. Some of the things that have been hanging on as incomplete projects were done. Stickers taken off. Ribbons tied. Glued things that needed gluing. Lavender partitioned out (somewhat). Paper folded. Now, I just have a few things left to do. Luckily, Dave will be home from now until the wedding to help finish things up.

I cannot believe that it is almost here. 8 Days! 8 Days!

Julie and Julia

Last night, I went to see an advance screening of Julie and Julia last night. Annie captured it well when she said the movie was delightful. It made me laugh out loud, reaffirmed my love of Meryl Streep, gave me inspiration to use my le Creuset pot I got as a wonderful wedding gift, wondered if I would ever really follow a recipe, caused a surge of pride that a blogger made it big, and made me think that I should purchase pearls for daily use.

Now, I have a list of things to do that involves finding lavender, a pocket square, and picking up my wedding dress (!). I'm approaching the day slowly and wondering if I should attempt to make the perfect egg for breakfast.

12 days to go

I'm 12 days away from our wedding. Twelve! Yesterday, I had the freak-out I had been expecting for some time. It all started with the shoes - I am having an issue finding something that works with the dress and have found out that short healed strapy sandals no longer exist. I know because I've looked at every shoe in many, many malls. (I now have three options and hope one will work.) I showed questionable logic by throwing coffee and pizza on my shoe fire, which caused a full on moment. Luckily, today was my scheduled pre-wedding facial. An hour of having my face smooshed and moisturized has allowed me to attempt wedding programs and hopefully my last dress fitting!

Media Saturation

I spent way to much time online yesterday. I can tell because my dreams were infiltrated by things I read. But, maybe, I was just hungry. You see, I had a whole dream that took place in Mozza 2Go (a place that got a lot of press because it opened yesterday). In my dream, I was at some great counter choosing sausage and pepper sandwiches for Dave and myself. My mom and my sister drifted through to discuss the stock. It was my idea of a great dream.

In my non-dream life, I have never been to any of the Mozzas (Osteria or Pizza). Perhaps I should go because now I am having a hankering for pizza and pasta...maybe some olives. Yum.

Always be prepared

Trolling around the interweb for wedding items, I stumbled upon a little something called shelf reliance. Both brilliant (thinking of my friend Amilia's winter from hell where the roof of the only grocery store within a 2 hour drive from her home collapsed under the snow) and paranoid (I'm shocked it does not come with a riffle to use for protection from bandits). There is a part of me is so intrigued by the idea of 12 Cans of Whole Eggs (236 servings per can). That's a lot of eggs.

T minus 20

My countdown clock reads "20 days until our wedding." My to-do list has been transformed into sticky notes, which are now displayed as a calender on my whiteboard, and Annie T. has been visiting daily to help me with my long list of craft projects. There are many things left to do...but, it is possible that they are all going to get done! Who would have thought....