Summer

This year has been difficult. I had students coming and going all year, families in crisis, an amazing lack of district wide moral that shrinking budgets and increased class size can create, and a general sense that I am not doing enough for my students. In some ways I think teaching is like parenting; it's very easy to feel inadequate in a very important roll. When I look at the year with slightly less pessimistic eyes, I can see there were some successes that are important (even if they do not involve increased reading levels). My 5th graders all talked about a book they loved this year. This was a first for many of them. Thank you Kate diCamillo and your wonderful Winn Dixie. One student can now tell time when she could not before (she can also do many other math related things but this had an impact on her day to day). I discovered the power of the pitch counter for reducing unexpected behaviors and increasing my ability to chart that kind of thing. That one was a thank you Amazing Race for the idea and Dave for being driven to be productive even on a line at the JPL's open house slash wanting to use his Amazon iPhone app. It does not seem like the extenuating circumstances that made this year hard [read: the economy] will be any better next year. But, for now, I have summer. I will try to refill my tank. This task will undoubtedly be made easier by the many visits planned for the summer and my iPad. I'm looking forward to shedding this sense of failure for something more lighthearted (and perhaps realistic). Oh, Summer.

It's summertime (or at least should be)

I am 3.5 days away from the end of my 6th year of teaching. It has been such a difficult, all consuming year, that my blog has suffered. My life has revolved around things that I feel are not blog-appropriate. I am struggling with the general feeling of inadequacy of my skill in the face of social ills.

While I attempt to finish the work that lies between me and the end of year, I am half watching Rome. Somehow the carnage and general nastiness of the Roman empire are fitting the task before me. Oh, summer. I will fill my days with things very different than this year held. And, I am looking forward to it - very much.

5 second rule

I've been trying to kick it up a notch lately. I've been wearing my sneakers to school less, tried to remember earrings and only let my pressed powder run out for one week - not one half of a year, as is typical. Despite these efforts, I really cannot escape myself. Mentally, I am still the messy kid.

It was snack time (for me) and I busted my cheese stick out of lunchbox. After taking both ends of the wrapper, I proceeded to catapult the entire thing straight up in the air. There was then a thud as it fell onto one of the chairs in my classroom. I was not so happy. For a moment, I though, "That's still good." Then I remembered where I was and who I was surrounded by. I love my students but they are not clean (despite our weekly cleaning sessions). The 5 second rule so does not apply.

PS I realize the fact that I have both snack time and a lunchbox are counteracting my ability to kick it up a notch.

PPS I also realize that this blog is disjointed. I have not blogged in such a long time that I forgot my password and, seemingly, lost my ability to edit. Sorry.

PPPS This one is for you, LR.

Home

We finally found a book shelf that works with the living room and, today, filled it up with books arranged by genre (as I like to do). It has been so long since my paired down library has been properly displayed. Before I moved to LA, I donated an old lady cart filled with books to the local salvation army. What was left got packed up and shipped, book rate, from my apartment to Dave. As I opened the boxes today, I was kind of shocked to see what had made the cut. My 8th grade yearbook. My collection of cookbooks I had forgotten about. Outdated travel books I still cannot bring myself to donate. All of my books from undergrad. My favorite books by Isabel Allende and Alice Walker. The A Tree Grows in Brooklyn I read every year growing up. I missed my books. I'm happy they are home.

Books I have Read

I recently received the gift of A Homemade Life and fell a little bit in love. This is a cookbook slash memoir. Or maybe an essay collection with a recipe at the end of each section, in the spirit of Like Water for Chocolate. Whatever it is, I loved it and felt okay committing sacrilege (turning down the pages) because I had to mark the recipes I wanted to make. I was excited when I read about the slow roasted tomatoes and then over the moon when she talked about stewed prunes. I love stewed prunes - but because they are somewhat out of fashion, none of my other cookbooks even attempt a recipe. It was wonderful book and, after finding out she has a pizza place that makes it own sausage, in is yet another reason I want to go visit Seattle (Laura being reason number 1, Andrew's crepes being reason number 2, my general love of the city being reason number 3).

Speaking of books, I never followed up on my Mennonite in a Little Black Dress saga. I finally broke down, bought the hardcover (which always seems amazingly decedent to me) and L-O-V-E-D the book. Of course, I received the email from the library about my book arriving the day after I left for NY (I kid you not) and had to go pick it up after I came back to LA to avoid scaring my perfect record at the LA Public Library. As I read my own personal copy on the plane, I laughed very loudly and then insisted that Dave stop what he was doing to read a few paragraphs. Much like when he does not immediately beat me in a board game, I think he was humoring me.

Happy New Year

Ten years ago, the world was in fear of Y2K, I celebrated the new year with a killer living room dance party, watching the flashing madonna from John and Autumn's window, trying to figure out how we could get down to DC's Mall to celebrate the Will-ennium, and general confusion of the early twenties.

This year, I made roasted chicken and parsnips, was ready for bed by 10:30 due to a crippling case of jet lag, and was surprised with a wake-up kiss from my husband at midnight. Oh what a difference ten years can make.

Happy New Year to all those I love - near and far.