hi there. i was thinking about the blog. why do i blog? what do i want my blog to be? why don't i edit more? you know, all of the big questions. i like to read the blogs of those i know. but they all edit.
i need to work on my commas.
love,
me.
ps i've pushed the envelope on what should be watched during the daytime hours. i just watched a showtime show at six in the afternoon and, while awkward at first, it turned out to be okay.
i had a bad day at work. really it was just a bad moment. it was such a bad moment that i put it out of my mind until my walk to ralphs for some emergency milk for tomorrow's coffee. it was a moment of teacher unethical behavior. those are the moments that resonate with me for the longest time. unfortunately, it was not the first time i've seen unethical behavior from a teacher.
really, at some point, a teacher needs to stop teaching. it is a hard job. you are responsible for the minds, bodies and souls of little children for a huge portion of their day. and, these kids are expected to know what the square root of 64 times three to the third power is when they are 8 years old. it's a lot. at some point, i think a teacher stops being effective. they are tired. they are old-school (literally). they cover their own ass rather than fill the minds of children. why spend your time in a classroom if you are not going to even try?
since i began teaching, i always said that i hope i will recognize the point when it is no longer the job i should be doing. i wish there was a way for some people to bow out gracefully, before legions of children are exposed to an ineffective year of art projects and beanie babies.
i'm a very hard critic of my own cooking. as someone with no training (other than hours of of cooking shows) and a predilection for not loving recipes, i often find that what i made doesn't taste like what i imagined it would taste like. yesterday i had plans of reclaiming productivity with scones. well, scones and a hike up runyon canyon with annie (which was fab, by the way).
after the hike, i made the scones, ate one as soon as i could bust it out of the pan, and was disappointed. i had big plans for the scones. dave had to go to palm springs today and i was going to make crumb-y snacks for the car. but, after eating them, i deemed them crap. despite their crapiness, i was forced back to the scones today for my after school snack because i have a general lack of food at the moment.
and they were good. kind of. well, good enough for me to want to eat a second for my post dinner snack.
now, i feel bad that i didn't let dave take any to the desert.
I just skyped with four-fifths of my immediate family and I am pleased to say they are making progress with the technology. My father is no longer more focused on fun-with-feedback. My mother is well adapt at restarting the chat once we get kicked off my slow internet connections. And, well my sisters were always good with it.
It's nice to have a little face time with them.
I have a severe case of OCHD (Obsessive Compulsive House Disorder). We're still rockin' the apartment and the final bits of buying a house need to be tied up...but I've found myself mentally painting and furnishing. Or, searching for the perfect paint and furniture. I think, in some situations, this is a good thing. But, I have taken it to a level that borders on obsession. I am hoping, in a few weeks I can use my focus to paint up a storm. I hope.
I'm all bundled up, in a red hooded sweatshirt and fuzzy slippers, enjoying a rainy afternoon. I just found out that you can make playlists from All Songs Considered. So, I'm using M. Ward as my musical accompaniment to this rainy, rainy day. It's practically perfect.
It has been a few weeks since I've been flying solo around dinnertime. It has been an eye opening experience.
I had thought I was rediscovering the joy of cooking this year. I frequently planned a week of meals. My fridge was overflowing. I experimented with meat, adjusted recipes, and bought a good knife.
But since I've lost my appreciative audience/best dish-washer ever, I've returned to my old ways.
Tonight, my post school dinner was: the two bites of Italian sausage, peppers and onions left over from yesterday, paired with a bit of bread to sop up the sauce; followed by a sugar-free-ish ice cream bar; and all capped of with a bowl of hummus, some cucumber and grape tomatoes.
I may completely revert to a tapas only life-style. My left-overs-for-lunch may be a thing of the past.
*We are getting closer and closer to a new home. It's brought about some (expected) sentimental moments for me. The moments, however, have been with people who would normally not be included in my sentimental world. The most interesting one was with the real estate agent. She knows her stuff and really gets the job done. But, we are very different kinds of people and it is not always easy to feel like she understands my language. The misinterpretation issue did not stop me from talking with her about the significance a house plays in my world with a level of uninhibited insight that surprised me.
*I've been in LA for a few days less than 11 months. Although the NYTimes is much better than the LATimes and my family is decidedly NY, I love life in LA. Yesterday I saw a truck filled with oranges and could not contain my joy. It is good for me to have sunshine and outdoors. And, I love the farmers markets. They tap into both my love of supermarkets and outdoor adventure. It's the perfect combo, in my book.
*I feel like now, in my 31st year, I'm ready for home in a way I have never been before. It's so good.
Teaching can sometimes a little overwhelming. I get caught up in the fear that I could be doing something else to make the educational process more enriching. Or, I become frustrated by the realities of my students. Today some of those things are happening. I think it's mostly because I'm closing in on day 180. Although 180 days does not seem like much. Right now 180 teaching days is feeling like whole lot. At the end, it always does.
I'm going to count the days I have left. It may make it worse. But, I'm feeling compelled.
I am currently engaged in laundry wars with my downstairs neighbor. In general, she has bad form when it comes to shared laundry. She's the queen of abandoned laundry. Tonight, she crossed the line. I went down to switch out my stuff (from washer to dryer) and to put in another load, only to find that it had already been moved. And...a new load was in the washer! She touched my stuff. It's not like my stuff had lingered for the hours/days hers will linger. I used the well developed timer system Dave has perfected. She must have been stalking my laundry waiting for the moment it stopped. Grrr.
The good news is I beat her down there, took her stuff out of the laundry and put mine in. I am feeling victorious and petty all at the same time.
I'm against shared laundry. It makes me cranky.
Due to my own misguided planning and the fact that I work with students in first, second, third, fourth and fifth grades, I have just finished the my third week of (high-stakes/these numbers will follow you for life) testing. That's 14 instructional days devoted to filling in the bubbles. My students have been troopers. Fueled by a steady stream of Cheerios and water breaks, they really gave it their all. Each day, their behavior has been getting a little bit more wonky. I've had lots of odd noises, chit-chat, and repeated questions about the schedule.
They knew today was the last day and they were totally wiggly when I asked them to take a seat. Their engines were on high. I knew that it was not the kind of ya-yas that could be gotten out with my typical combination of jumping jacks and standing yoga poses.
So we took off for the track. Half way there, I began to jog and all of my well-trained students did what I did.
I engaged my best elementary appropriate trash talk (i.e. I'm gonna smoke ya! You're being beaten by an old person) and kept running. After two laps around (except for one boy who made it around three times), their engines were all significantly decelerated and we got down to business.
I'm thinking of giving everyone a 100% on tomorrow's spelling test just so I don't have to give any more tests this week. As the teacher, that is way in my jurisdiction.
As a new California resident, I preformed my civic duty and filed some taxes. In my mailbox today, I was greeted with what I like to think of as my official welcome to the state. My tax refund check.
All three dollars.
Oh yeah. I'm getting a latte!
I just spent the last three hours following various men around the house that may shortly become our home. The foundation guy found a minor terrarium environment under the part of the house that used to be a sleeping porch (or a TB porch, using the foundation guy's words). The soils guy discussed hydrostatic pressure and assumed that I knew what was good rock to be on during an earthquake (the house has the good stuff-FYI). The sewer guy used his nifty little camera and a black and white monitor to show us root balls and a pipe to nowhere.
There were also some baby birds nesting on the side of the house and a hawk holding something as it flew overhead...both of which I decided were good signs as I sat in the car preparing myself to pull away from inspection-palooza.
It's kind of amazing to 1. engage in the learning curve that comes when purchasing a house and 2. think that my life could involve this next step. I never really thought it would and in almost exactly one month, we could get keys to our home. Well, I would have to get the keys because Dave will be on location. Crazy.
The enormity of the situation made a G&T a necessity. At the suggestion of my friend Laurie, I'm also using Rufus Wainright to sooth the nerves.
