gramps (life)

Tonight, I went to have tea with my Gram. We watched the pre-game for the Lighting of the Tree (bad banter between the weatherman and a sitcom star was overshadowed by the high-kicks of the Rockettes) and just relaxed.

It would have been my Grandpa's birthday today. I had some moments good moments with my memories of him today. He made a noise I cannot recreate for all of the babies and they uniformly loved that noise. He liked to have everyone around him, even if he did not want them to really mess with his systems. He pulled splinters out of my foot/hand/etc with a needle and completely steady hand when I was a little girl and prone to splinters. He smiled big in pictures.

It was good to be able to just sit and be with my Gram, doing something Grandpa would have been doing a few years ago. When I lived far from home, it was not so easy to be a part of days like today. I'm glad I was there tonight.

my blog sucks (in some ways) (?)

I just saw amazing personal websites and was jealous. My blog doesn't do any of the fancy tricks of his blog. He walks and plays loud music (be forewarned). You click on a picture of a guy and things happen. It's as if he is really speaking to you. I'm not sure what he is saying, as I have not really read his words because I'm easily distracted by his visuals. But, you really want to take a little look: here it is

I, on the other hand, have words. The level of envy I have is a little unreal. Specifically, in light of the fact that I am not the most technologically savvy person in the world. But, a strange love of technology is growing inside of me. I talk about external hard drives. I talk about how little some things have become. I talk about all I could do with a SmartBoard in my classroom. I try to understand all that I read in Wired.

I had little waves of desire for my blog to have little pictures of me instead of a menu, use some funky flash animation, and not have a font change be the big visual thing. Right now, I should probably work on my motivation to figure out why the sound doesn't work on my computer since I put it all back together in my new apartment. Maybe someday....

the dog that looked like an ewok, my students and my hair, and a good day (life, teaching)

Today, some amazing things happened. For you, I will present them in a lovely list format.

• Amazing Thing #1--a dog, who looks just like a little ewok, barked in a way that I thought he was saying, "Hey!" He did it twice on my walk home from school. [I just tried to make him do it again, on my walk home from this evening's festivities. But, alas, it was to no avail.]
• Amazing Thing #2--my students drew pictures of me that were very cute. I did notice a theme of huge hair in all of them. I don't think they would recognize me without what they view as my 50's style bouffant.
• Amazing Thing #3--I have been lied to by masters today. The first involved me leaving the house at 6:25 so my very tricky roommate could plant presents all over the place. The second involved me being told to bring my lesson plan book to my Assistant Principal, which made me fear for my life. And, the third involved trickiness at a Thai restaurant. All executed flawlessly.
• Amazing Thing #4--without planning, I had a really nice dinner with very good people at a very nice Thai restaurant (previously mentioned). The restaurant gave me opportunity to eat Thai basil, examine the drainage system on a poured concrete sink, and eat one perfect blackberry. It was so nice. And, it was the first time that I had unexpected plans with people that I don't live with in a very long time. I love that.
• Amazing Thing #5--I'm still happy about this whole 29 thing. I think this could be my year.

life as i know it 28 (take 2)

I have 3 hours left to enjoy my 28th year. For the past few hours, I have been moved by multiple episodes of Sports Night and Sex in the City. I got to show off my special blanket move (the burrito) and laughed so much.

Since it is my last day as 28, I feel as if I should say something. Uhm, hum. [That is me clearing my throat to prepare.] It's been good. And, now it's time to turn the page. I think that 29 could be my year to go a little bit wild, in a good way. I will be full of courage. I will do just what I want to do (except for the days when I need to write a paper and then I'll just do what I have to do). I will travel to a foreign land. I will try to be better. I will find something new to love. I will find many opportunities to laugh too hard. I will love the people who are important to me as much as I can. I will be okay with ambiguity. I will let myself want what I want. I will enjoy my time with people. And, I hope, unexpected things will come my way.

I am happy. My life is good.

It all worked out (life)

Visitors came and food was eaten. I have discovered a new way to incorporate onions into my life. Dishes will be done in the morning. I had forgotten how nice it is to invite people to your home, prepare an evening, and enjoy their conversation. I'm going to have to do this again.

Company anxiety (life)

It's been a while since I've had company. In the last place, I could not comfortably fit more than one extra person. And, then I always feel silly because my living situation projected an air of an obstacle course (hop the bed, run around the roommate, through the little door and you're in the bathroom) rather than the living quarters of someone who should be settled in her life. Tonight, people are coming for dinner. A random group has been invited and I'm currently testing out the music selection as I unpack the last of the boxes. I should be basking in the warm glow of good plans. But, instead I'm anxious. I don't feel like I am one of those people who is good at making everyone feel relaxed and comfortable. I worry. I worry that the food is not good. I worry that there is not enough to eat. I worry that people will not talk to one another. And, I worry that I still live in a funny way and it will make people feel uncomfortable. But, it's just last minute anxiety. Once wine is poured, people show up, and food is out, things have a way of working themselves out.

Happy Thanksgiving! (life)

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm off to my parents' house to make a few pounds of stuffed mushrooms to bring to Gram's. I'm going to bring my camera to document the pie goodness. And, I send good wishes to all of my friends. I'm so thankful for you all.
Much love,
me.

public transportation 2 (life)

Maybe the gods of the bus read the last blog. Maybe I am too dramatic for my own good. Maybe I was looking friendly. Or, maybe it's the whole holiday spirit....

I had the best bus ride of my life this morning. At 6:55, I walked up to the area the bus comes (a stop without one of those nice wind protector shelters), and an older woman struck up a conversation about how cold it was. She was chatty and it was so cold. So, we talked. It turned out that she had been diagnosed with skin cancer and was going to get her doctor in the city. She has lived in my neighborhood for 50 years and is in retirement. We talked about the way the neighborhood has changed. I learned that the mayor used to hold a May Day event in Central Park and give all of the kids free ice cream. The same mayor used to read the comics over the radio to kids each Sunday. She told me about her granddaughters and how proud she is of them. When I arrived at my school's block, I wished her good health and went on my way. I don't think I'll ever run into her again (she's not normally out so early) and I don't know her name. But, it was such a nice way to begin the morning. My faith in the MTA has been (somewhat) restored.

public transportation (life)

After school, I took the bus from elementary school to my university. I've done this once before and was amazed at the ease and convenience of public transportation. On that trip, I waxed poetic about the fact that two busses took me from the Middle Eastern neighborhood of my school, through a Peruvian district, around the place with the worlds best empanadas, to a place that kind of reminds me of Hong Kong. And, I was able to knit the whole time.

Today, it was a bit of a different kind of ride. A lengthy conversation about coats, pockets on coats, and brands of coats made me think an investment in an iPod would be an investment in mental health. I think my bus was actually turned off for some time while a tractor trailer was towed from its resting spot across 6 lanes of traffic. And, a man gave me an up-close-and-personal view of some self-love I don't typically associate with a public event. [Side note: How does one really deal with that type of situation? I was made fun of for being polite to strangers yesterday by a local boy. Polite did not really provide me with any resources today.]

Where are my idealistic views of public transportation today? Maybe I'd be more happy with the trappings of my urban lifestyle if it did not involve being sat on by a very nice lady?

out of practice (life)

I'm out of blog practice. I feel as if I have nothing to say. Maybe my day was too pedestrian to be blog fodder. But, I used to be able to blog about the little things. Honestly, those things are my favorite things. In an effort to get back in the show, I am going to do something I try not to do all that often.

For a moment, I am going to allow some un-Buddhist-like thinking of the future. I am very excited for the next few weeks. Holidays are upon us. I will be making a truck load of stuffed mushrooms for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have some wonderful plans for these Christmas cards I got from the store last weekend. And, I want to try to make a line of tee-shirts for a friend using all my best tricks. This all makes me happy.

In addition to these little in-house plans, I'm also gearing up for a trip to DC for an annual yank and spank. It's time to redeem myself from my last embarrassing showing. And, I am looking forward to spying on the life of my friends who are all so much more settled than I have ever been.

Dear Blog, (life)

Dear Blog,
I know that I have been gone for a long time. Please don't think that I don't really care. Because, I do care. Things just got so hectic with the move, report cards, and midterms. I know that's just an excuse. You are probably thinking, if I cared, I would have made time. But, I'm going to try to make it up to you. I'll tell you about seeing a delivery guy on a bike deliver food to a car, about being called Grandma by one of my students, about the pumpkin pie I still owe to someone who helped me move and the crazy amount of guilt I feel about a pie, my growing anticipation for Thanksgiving, and the crazy email I get from strangers on Friendster. I hope it doesn't fall on deaf ears.
I missed you blog.

Much love,
me.