11.26.2005

Company anxiety (life)

It's been a while since I've had company. In the last place, I could not comfortably fit more than one extra person. And, then I always feel silly because my living situation projected an air of an obstacle course (hop the bed, run around the roommate, through the little door and you're in the bathroom) rather than the living quarters of someone who should be settled in her life. Tonight, people are coming for dinner. A random group has been invited and I'm currently testing out the music selection as I unpack the last of the boxes. I should be basking in the warm glow of good plans. But, instead I'm anxious. I don't feel like I am one of those people who is good at making everyone feel relaxed and comfortable. I worry. I worry that the food is not good. I worry that there is not enough to eat. I worry that people will not talk to one another. And, I worry that I still live in a funny way and it will make people feel uncomfortable. But, it's just last minute anxiety. Once wine is poured, people show up, and food is out, things have a way of working themselves out.

No comments: