Why malls are bad, bad places (life)

Last night, I could not hide from my suburban roots and had to spend some q.t. in a mall. It had everything I needed right in one structure (a place to get glue and a new shirt). It also has Ikea. I love Ikea.

So, I was doing my thing, finishing up my wander through Target when I heard an announcement that they were closing the door to the mall and would be opening it back up in one hour. Immediately after that announcement, the gates came crashing down. There was no warning announcement, as is customary in those situations. I had a cart full of junk I had just carefully picked out from the thousands of options and was so confused by what was happening. So, I stood there, stuck in the mall, trying to figure out what to do.

I could have walked around the perimeter of the huge building, past some scary, scary dark loading docks, or I could wait it out. I'm basically a chicken. So, I waited, locked in Target for an hour. I scrounged a meal from the snack counter and seriously considered some unnecessary purchases. As soon as I noticed the gates had been raised, I headed for the hills. On my way out, I found out that there was some strange fund raiser/meet a reality TV star event happening that made it necessary for me to be locked in the mall on a Sunday night.

The whole experience of literally being stuck in a place for shopping seemed so fitting for Long Island and is probably a scenario many dream about. However, that's just never really worked for me.