indvidual education plan (teaching)

On Friday, I had a meeting where a parent was told her daughter needs quite a bit of help. I have been her daughter's teacher for since she was in kindergarten and have been harboring some resentment towards the mother that I did not realize I had until the days before the meeting. The girl is a cutie. And, tough. She has had a hard time learning things since she came to my classroom. I've talked with mother. I've tried to be gentle. And, together, we have made some great strides. But, still, my student continues to fall further and further behind.

Before the meeting, I was frustrated with the fact that the mother has not made her daughter's education a priority. She came to me without knowing her letters, without knowing how to spell her name...and, it never seemed as if the mother was doing enough to help her daughter. But, as we talked, I could see how upset the mother was by the information we were all sharing. She was overwhelmed and conflicted. She talked about the fact that this is her only child, told me about the games they play together, the books they ready, and about her daughter's spirit.

As I sat across from her, I remembered that I spent last year committed to the fact that I cannot blame the parents. It is unreasonable and unfair. My parents were judged by my teachers. It did not help my education as a student nor their education as a parent. I am lucky to know that this girl's mother loves her. She shows it in a different way I show my love. But, my role is not to judge.

Sometimes, I feel like the answers we have available are insufficient. During the meeting, I tried to impart all of my knowledge on how to teach children literacy skills as quickly as I could. I tried to let her know that the reason I want her daughter to move into a new type of classroom was so she could get all the help she needed, so that she could continue to love school, and so her little heart could continue to get what it needed...I wanted the mother to feel comfortable with a change. But, I worry. What if her new teacher doesn't care, or yells, or doesn't teach in a way that makes sense to my student. I wish there were guarantees...or, even, some true recourse a parent could take if things don't work out. But, our system is amazingly bureaucratic; the teachers, parents, and students all get lost in some ways. I cannot worry about everything. I know this student belongs in an environment that can better meet her needs. And, much of what I am feeling is about my difficulty to let go.

My mentor recently told me that I have to stop thinking with my heart about matters like these...my response was that thinking with my heart is my strength as a teacher. She laughed and agreed. Right now, I do wish that I could be a little more removed...worry less. But, that's not who I am.