Morning me (teaching)

I've had to return to the mornings...as in, I've had to return to being highly functioning in the mornings in a way that is only reserved for those whom have the responsibility for the lives of others. Unfortunately, it's not been easy. I'm having problems Luckily, all mishaps have been personally directed and minor. Number 1 was pouring out more than half my cup of coffee into the garbage as I tried to make a wee bit of room for my milk. Number 2 was washing my hair with body wash rather than shampoo. I fixed the problem and then did it again as I attempted to condition.

At some point in the year, 6 am will be the time that I'm up doing things around my house. Right now, 6 am is the time that I'm either sleeping (because I forgot to set the alarm) or deep in a state of confusion. But, I'm not planning on working too hard at changing things. I'm enjoying my new schedule.

Quotes (life)

Disclaimer: Some of you know, I'm not big on the whole quotes thing. This is actually an added bonus for those around me--you can quote something, I'll never realize you're quoting something, and you get points for line that is not even yours. I also know that quotes on ye olde blog is a slippery slope. I'll do my best not to stumble.

Blog: Today, I went to my second class of the week. The events of the class proved my theory that this semester will be an odd combination of touchy-feely and intense. I actually think it will be perfect for me. I'll feel like a real graduate student and I'll get to touch the inner hippie. [We did yoga in class and talked about action research and it's roots in anthropological methods...I liked it.]

The teacher put up some quotes about writing and asked us to reflect. The one I chose was by Gloria Steinem. She wrote, "Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else." I thought about the blog and how I've written since I was 28. Now, I'm weeks away from 30 (although I dispute this based on the fact that I've already had birthday observed). The blog has become a way I try to take care of myself. I'm happy it's here.

five years later (life)

Today has been filled with reminders. The radio...the firehouses...the
"I heart NY" t-shirts. I've been trying to figure out a way to reflect
meaningfully. I really don't think I have one. India made a lot of old
feelings new again. Nothing has changed in the world, other than me
realizing more and more of what the lives of others entail.

But, I do know that I want to live a life that makes me happy. I want
to touch beauty in the world. Luckily, I am sure that (in some way) I
can each day.

Broadcast Journalism

This morning, in my attempt to wake up slowly, I was watching a little NBC Saturday morning news (just because that was the last channel that was on the TV; normally I have higher standards). The newscaster was talking about an attempted mugging of a woman in this area. Turns out, the woman was on her way to the shooting range. So, the woman pulled her gun out and, to quote the newscaster, "shot the mother in the elbow." Are you allowed to say that on broadcast TV?

For a friend (life)

After my little warm-up fancy car dancing didn't do the trick, I tried to make my friend feel better by showing her a how to book. I like it when there is a convenient step-by-step process. Unfortunately, I don't always follow direction well.

What kind of student are you? (school)

I started graduate school again yesterday. Last night's class had a little homework--I have to answer several essay questions about myself, my philosophies, blah, blah, blah, same-old, same-old. Basically, I received the paper, used my infamous powers of skim and gathered the important information. Tonight, while in my other class, I was looking at the questions with a little more attention. One of the questions is "What kind of student are you?" The two words that came to mind immediately were interested and distracted. I am a fan of the learning. In fact, one of the qualities I look for in others is that they know tons about something and are not afraid to teach me. The distracted was probably best illustrated by the fact that I was looking on the syllabus from last night in tonight's class...Luckily, I think my interested gets me through the distracted and I'll make it through the next two semesters.

My hands are covered in marker (teaching)

I had to schedule in my visits to the bathroom. I'm teetering on the
edge of exhausted at 6:16 p.m. And, I have a very big smile on my
face.

The school year has begun.

Student Whisperer (teaching)

I'm about to begin my third year of teaching on Tuesday. In many ways, it feels like my first year (except for the fact that I know how to write a lesson plan, organize my library, read teachers curriculum, and find the gym). After two years of negotiating co-teaching (which, for me, was not so easy). This year, I'm going it alone. I will be the only teacher in the classroom and I'm so excited. I feel like I'll learn so much about being a teacher, am excited to be able to see my plans actually carried through, and figuring out how to best help my students learn.

I am, however, a little bit on the nervous side. I need to make sure that I am the commander of the ship. Since TV has come to my life, I've seen the Dog Whisperer a few times and think Caesar might hold the key to my management. I need to be my classroom pack leader. I need to be calm and assertive and make sure that I always project authority. I want to create structure and challenge. I think I should faux-Tivo this show. It could help re-center me when I actually have to do this whole educating thing for my 12 new students.

Just look (good stuff)

I came accross this today and am very excited about trying it out. It's like mapquest for those of us who walk and take public transportation. I love it.

By the way (teaching)

The children are coming in three working days, two of which are all meetings. I'm nervous.

This could be the reason + King Kong (teaching + random)

It is currently 5:38 am and my brain has pushed me awake again. Yesterday, I was thinking about the bulletin boards in my classroom (a source of a great range of emotion for many a teacher). Today, it was my count of the day (just realized I did not designate a space while simultaneously deciding to use coins to reinforce money equivalents). These thoughts are not exactly rocket science but currently they are a pretty big deal in my world. But really, 5 a.m. is not the best time to be doing this thinking. To me, this seems like very good mid-afternoon thought. You know, that time of day you almost could take a nap; your mind is open to loose connections that may bring you to an unexpected idea. It seems, while at school, my brain is so preoccupied by other things, I need to wake up early-early to think. I spent the first two years of my teaching life in a state of moderate-to-severe sleepiness. I think this idea of using sleeping time as thinking time could very well be the reason.

On another note, I walked past the Empire State Building last night (it was between my friend's house and the subway I decided to take home). It was a very cloudy night. Because NYC is lit up like Christmas all of the time, it was very bright outside. The top of the Empire State Building was alternating between actually covered by clouds and seeming like it was closer than it actually is because the clouds caused some crazy back-lit deal. During my walk, I decided that the combination of these effects would have been perfect for the old-school King Kong to do his thing.

Fraidy Cat (life)

So, I'm up. It's early. I have to go to school for the first
time...well, for the first time since I left for the wonderful,
wonderful summer. I'm home alone. Then, there was a knock
on my door.

Dum, dum, dum, duhm.

It sounded like someone was knocking on my door and I kind of freaked out, in that
little jump in your chest, hold your breath kind of way. I quietly
went down my steps to look to see if anyone was
in the hallway. There was no one. But, I still locked another lock.

Readjustment to life, parenthetically (life).

I’ve been back in my apartment long enough to face some readjustment to life in NY after my summer away. I just realized, I now have a list of things I love and a list of things that are not exactly cutting it…so, I wanted to share. [I was going to call this love it/hate it…but, upon rereading, that seemed overly dramatic.]

• Random, yet extensive, conversation with people in stores about how great something is—love it. [This one was about an 80 year old man who works in Stop in Shop and was giving what can only be called shout outs in some language I could not identify to everyone as he ducked behind the deli counter.]
• Random, yet extensive, anger that is ever present—not so much.
• Being around friends I have not seen all summer—love it.
• Finding parking at their house or waiting a very long time for the subway to come (for a subway ride that you would walk if it wasn’t so late, by the way)—not so much.
• Walking from here to there and feeling like you’ve interacted with half the cultures of the world—love it.
• Walking from here to there and knowing you have not worn the proper layering combination and that your bag is too small to fit the 3 changes of outfits you will probably need to make on the walk—not so much.
• The fact that I have what seems like millions of good restaurants and grocery stores right around the corner from my apartment—love it.
• The fact that the rain has kept me from wanting to walk me and my dirty laundry the few blocks to my prefered laundromat—not so much.

[I bet this little list is influenced by the fact that I’m going back to work tomorrow.

Summer, I will miss you.]

It was like 1996 and 1986 all rolled into one (life)

Tonight, a friend and I attempted to prepare ourselves for the upcoming year of teaching by reminding ourselves how to have fun. It was some of the type of fun that can be had at home - we watched Bottle Rocket and made Jiffy Pop. It was stupendous.

I can't believe how good the movie was. I am a little sad that I have been denied the opportunities to say "On the run from Johnny Law... ain't no trip to Cleveland" and know that origami wallpaper exists for the past 10 years. But, now, I feel like I need to make up for lost time. It's possible I'll have to watch this movie several more times in the upcoming months to really let it soak in.

Before the movie, my friend busted out some Jiffy Pop. After a brief discussion of the rules (which we quickly agreed was basically don't stop moving it) and a moment of fear that we had burned the bottom, I was able to relieve childhood memories of watching the Jiffy Pop silvery thing get bigger and bigger right before my very eyes. I always wanted it to explode, just like on the commercials. I thought that it might be good to incorporate Jiffy Pop into my 30th birthday. Several people have been telling me that I need to do something and I feel like a popcorn ode to my childhood/the 80s might be just the thing to un-pathetic it up. The jury is still out on that one, though.

Oh, those crazy kids at Harvard (life)

After a week of quality time with my family, enjoying a little Pimp My Ride with the sisters and Orange County Chopper with my mom, this little piece of architecture humor fell into the amusing category. At first, I questioned…then, there was a Devo reference and the star stickers. Those made me giggle a bit (gab, if you are on the IM).

Wisdom from Dylan (music)

Recently, I came upon a whole lotta new music. I’m excited. But, there is a slight feeling of guilt. Two things have made me feel better since the guilty feeling began. One was some kind of math equation showing the number of iPods divided by the number of songs that have been downloaded from iTunes equaling some very low number of songs per iPod (I forget where I read this…but, I’m sure with some creative googling, a motivated person could figure it out).

The second is the fact that Bob Dylan thinks its okay because everything is crap anyway. I can listen happily now.

*** whoops, it's really 198

Funny conversation amongst my sisters today:

Sister #1: Hey do you want to know an ugly word?
Sister #2: Lloyd?
Sister #1: No, hers.

End of conversation.

This is the type of stuff that keeps me very entertained.

Return to the fold (family)

Upon my return to the right coast, I've been making up for lost family time in a big way. I've been spending quality time with my extensive family (oldest of 4, thank you very much), extended family (walking with an aunt this morning, talking with several uncles), and the de facto family (neighbors, friends, and others). It's entertaining (most of the time) and somewhat exhausting (only every once in a while) after so much time away.

Last night, my dad and I spent some time talking about the blues. He went to a show and had a very good time. During our post-show conversation, I was reminded of the time that I rebelled against my family by hating music. They love it and pre-teen Me hated it just because. Luckily, pops brought me to see music that I could not hate and I am not bereft of all that is good in the world [My own personal opinion is that a person who does not like music is on a slippery slope to abject disgruntledness for life.] I like our conversations about music. He grew up with Led Zep, old blues, and millions of others I'll never have the first hand knowledge he has. But, he likes to tell stories and I like to listen.

Today, I tried to teach sister #2 how to parallel park. In my humble opinion, I'm a good parallel parker. That's a lie. I think I'm a great parallel parker. If you are around me long enough, it's possible I'll tell you the story of the man who came out of the store to take my picture because of my superior parallel parking skills. Anyhow, the sister needed to perfect the parallel park for today's road test and I attempted to give her some last minute advice. It turns out parallel parking is a personal thing. Each person must find their zone. My perfected technique did not translate down the years. Poor kid will have to learn on her own.

Open doors (life)

I have been mentally trying to write a blog about my flight back because I sat next to a man who played guitar in Anthrax for several years. He was very nice. We knew we would get along when we were both got excited because we thought our flight attendant’s name was Chewbacca. [It was not, by the way.] I seemed to keep the man from Anthrax amused right up until the time I feel into a hard open-mouthed sleep for the rest of the flight. But, that whole blog idea has become overshadowed by the blog-worthiness of my transition back to my world.

After almost 2 months away, I returned to my apartment to discover that I no longer remembered how to work my keys. I have a 5-key/2-door system. When I first tried to get in, I had absolutely no idea which key went to which lock. It would have taken me tons of time to figure it out had my roommate not been walking up our sidewalk. Her skills with the keys were especially welcomed because I had used my time on the drive to the apartment to drink a whole lot of coffee and there was a situation.

The other thing that I am having difficulty doing is figuring out how to get from here to there. When I had to ask myself, “How do I get to the Whitestone Expressway?” you could practically see the tumbleweed rolling through my brain. My approach was to just hop in the car with the hope that I would remember how to get there as I drove. There was a similar situation on the way home. But, it worked out in the end—as it always does.

I was able to enjoy this summer in ways I have not been able to enjoy things in such a very long time. I hope that I am able to hold onto some of the things that became so important this summer: new ways to approach life, willingness to push myself beyond my personal world, the ability to be as generous to people as people have been to me, the lightness that comes from doing just what you want to do, and the knowledge of a whole new world. But, what I think I hope for the most after this whole summer away is that doors will keep being able to be opened.

just so you know (life)

I love LA.