underlines (life)

I have a professor who reminds me of a first year sociology student
from my old days. Because I am a bit of an educational manipulator
(and I know that she responds well to incendiary language), I cranked
up my activist self to write the last paper for her class.

When I got the paper back, the following words were underlined:
forcible, systematic genocide, perpetuated inequity, and brutalizing.
I believe in what I wrote. But, my paper reminds me of that movie
Heathers. Remember when Christian Slater underlined the word Eskimo in
the book that he planted on a Heather. My professor is using the
Heathers method of grading papers.

spring in the park (life)

What country do you live in? (teaching)

When I asked my students this question last week, I received varied answers: Morocco, New York City, Delaware, Queens...all somewhat dishearteningly so close to the end of the year. They all could tell me which planet they live on (well, the loud ones got it right) and they threw out some related information (the borough, the country of origin, their towns, their blocks). But, the concept of which country they currently call home has proved to be somewhat difficult information to submit to the question-answer system.

The globe, maps in our text book, and repeated verbal cues had failed for so long. It was time for me to pull out the teaching aids. Today, during 8th period, I pulled out the LCD projector, plugged in a laptop, and had a little 3D interface with our world. After a few moments of technical difficulty, we used Google Earth to fly from the world, to our country, to our state, to our city, to our borough, right down to our very own P.S. They loved it. We found the corner the crossing guard stands on. We tilted the view so we could see up the block. We zoomed in and out. We found bridges, countries (I had to gloss over the request to see the country Santa is from) and oceans. They were impressed.

I don't know if they can tell anyone what they saw or can tell me which country they live in. ...but, it was fun. I love the things that can happen when we intergrate technology into the classroom. And, I feel like I actually imparted knowledge.

funny ha-ha (life)

Only David Sedaris could move from a notebook to gifts to a human skeleton to vacuum cleaners in one essay. I didn't know he lived in France.

progress (teaching)

Yesterday, I forgot to tell you something. During a passing
conversation with the Occupational Therapist in my school, I found out
things might not be as bad as I think they are. She said that the
students in my class are making progress. She said that she doesn't
really see that in the other classes. She thinks it is because the
students get so much one-on-one attention.

That made me so happy. I get caught up in the frustration of where
things are, as opposed to where they could be; my coteacher and I
cannot seem to figure out how to coteach, the paraprofessional in the
classroom is a little unexpected, the students have such a hard time
with following basic directions, I cannot figure out how to do so many
things that are deemed essential...it's nice to hear someone viewing
my classroom as a place where children thrive.

in between class (teaching)

I'm currently sitting in the corporate giant sponsored coffee shop on
my campus. My last class let out an hour early so my professor could
make her way to her son's trumpet concert. I really am not sure if I
could love the trumpet more right now...well, maybe if Dizzy Gillespie
puffed up his cheeks right here next to me. But, that's about it.

I can't remember the last time I had an unexpected hour of free time.
I could do something completely productive--work on a paper, read a
journal on my field of choice, spend time with people in my program.
But, I'd rather plug myself into my headphones and do nothing for the
next 45 minutes.

Times a-wasting. I have to go.

trash talking (life)

This evening, I realized that I have done something foolish: I talked big game; I got caught up in a moment...I wrote a a check my arse could not cash. After spending the afternoon running around the park for an hour and a half after a frisbee, chasing down my very fast roommate, and having a few run-ins with almost major injury (bent back finger, jumping into a wall of men much larger than myself who were also midair, and some serious elbow throwing by afore mentioned roommate), I feel like my body is about to give out. I feel my ribs. Each step brings a little bit of pain.

Basically, I'm a danger to myself and others when I play organized sports. But, it really is so much fun. Maybe I'll be a little more ready for this level of cut-throat ultimate next time.

where do you sleep? (teaching)

I have recently been so caught up in some of the more difficult
aspects of teaching (struggling readers who continue to struggle
despite all my efforts, coteacher drama, and a child with behaviors
more closely resembling a very angry adult than the six-year-old he
is) that I have forgotten to share some of the funny things that
happen when you are around little guys.

This week, while on the rug (which is where I am supposed to teach), a
boy raised his hand and said "I know you don't sleep at school. I saw
the other teacher leave school and go into her friend's car. If she
doesn't sleep at school, you can't either." What made this comment
better was the fact that it was completely unsolicited. We were not
talking about the places people sleep. We were talking about math.
But, he was thinking about where teachers sleep. And, he finally had
the definitive proof that we do not sleep in the schools.

May 1-4 (teaching/life/travel)

It's been a few days since I've blogged. I am trying to come up with a good excuse. As usual, there is no good excuse. In effort to give you the highlight reel of the past few days, I'm going to have to go bullet point.

• I've taken to knitting baby hats in a big way. I'm a half-an-hour away from finishing hat #3. I feel accomplished.
  
• Graduate school is very close to done for the semester. I have two papers and a take home exam to finish by May 16 and then I plan on not going to campus for 3 months. It will be heaven. I have 2 semesters left and then [pause] I'm supposed to be [dramatic pause] a master. Ha.
  
• Lately, I've been pulled from my class so many times that my students are acting like I'm a long lost relative each time I return. While entertaining it has also caused some not so great things--lack of routine (which is a teachers way of saying "the worst thing possible"), lack of communication with my coteacher, and moments of high-level frustration because I have no idea of what is going on.
  
• There were several bulletin board incidents this week and I was ready to stroke out. I remember thinking other teachers were so crazy for talking about bulletin boards as if they were a life and death situation. I'm not exactly sure when I crossed over to the other side. But, I am now highly offended by the bulletin board wars.
  
• Funny thing #1--walking past Babbette's House of Beauty (or something like that), I saw a strange sight. There was a man with the sides of his head shaved. There was tinfoil. And, there were big bubble hairdryers all over. I love seeing hipster mohawk-men getting their tips highlighted. Funny, funny stuff.
• I'm getting ready for my trip to India. I've been trying to read my new lonely planet South India, I'm reading news from SE Asia on the BBC everyday, and well that's about it. I feel like I should be doing more--getting visas, shots, learning basic Hindi, etc. Maybe I need to make a list.
  

Gross Personal Happiness (life)

I have a bit of a problem with plans. All of my plans are penciled in; well, all personal plans. I have obligations to work and school which are non-negotiables. But, my own stuff is all flexible. I do not always do anything. I take life as it comes and feel like it will all work out. But, some of those things that are not fun to do (laundry, grocery shop, go the gym) are easily displaced by last minute plans with family and friends, or knitting, or a good article, or a walk.

In theory, I think I would be so happy if I had something regular in my life. How nice would it be if I knew that it was Sunday and that means I am going to go to the gym, pay my bills, and then make a big dinner. But, instead, I've decided to finish a hat, blog, and finally get to see my friend.

That second list looks much better than the first. I like the unexpected. But, I don't know if I'm always making the wise decision about how I spend my time. In fact, I may be cultivating chaos. I live in a place where doing the little things in life take highly orchestrated efforts. When I leave my apartment, I need to bring provisions for any number of scenarios which may arrive. Then, I need to have a strong mental list that is plotted out among subway lines/walkable resources. In the end, I feel frenzied and realized I forgot the most important thing and I will not be by the only place to buy good fruit again for a week and a half. I need an alternative.

In Buthan, the country takes an somewhat militant approach to happiness. They measure it, outlaw things that will diminish happiness (like plastic bags and international wrestling), and replace traffic lights with humans because it makes people feel better. I don't think I can take that level of approach. But, I feel as if I could learn something from the people of the Kingdom of Bhutan. I need to decide to make this simpler every once in a while.

a few more pictures (life)

Now that I have my computer back, I can share some of the things I've been seeing around town.






Glitter lobster, flowering buildings and pretty purple things...I love the spring.

I did this (life)

I've been practicing knitting for quite some time now. I recently moved past scarf. I'm making hats, baby hats to be exact. There are going to be five new babies in my life within the year and they can't wear scarves. So, here it is. My first hat:

teaching time (teaching)

It is one of those times when I feel like I cannot do all I am
required to do as a teacher. The overwhelming paperwork is getting
much of my attention at the moment. But, the worst part is that the
end of the year is coming and I don't know if I have done enough for
my students. So many moments were wasted, opportunities missed, and
confusion prevailed. I only have 40 days left with them...how much
more will I be able to do?

Children's March (teaching)

Today, I learned about a truly amazing part of the history of our country. I watched a documentary called the Children's March, produced by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

In 1963, thousands of children marched in Birmingham for their freedom. They marched because their parents feared for their lives. They marched in the face of danger because, as one woman said, to be born black in Alabama meant you were never free from danger. They were told not to by many (their parents, Dr. King, other leaders). But, they did. They jumped out of their school windows to gather in a church in downtown Birmingham. The gathered at the same church 4 little girls were killed in a few months later. They gathered knowing they would be arrested.













High school students stood next to eight-year-olds as fire hoses and dogs were turned on them. A four-year-old was one of the thousands of children put into the jails. So many children faced harm in effort to change their world.

As I watched and learned, I realized I had never heard this story. I knew small bits. I had seen the images of the fire hoses. But I never knew the hoses were turned on children. And, I never knew the same children showed up the next day in bathing suits...courage mixed with actions only a child would take. I knew there was a church that was bombed. But, I did not know that same church was targeted because it was the place were actual steps were taken to bring Birmingham to it's knees. I never saw the pictures of children singing in the jails and huddled in the animal pens that acted as de facto prisons.

None of these things had ever been woven together to show me the whole story. I have grown up learning about the Civil Rights Movement...this was an overwhelming hole. I am reminded that to teach I need to be a student.

I almost forgot to tell you (life)

My iBook is on it's way home. It is coming back to me.  My life will return to it's mac-y goodness.

titleless (life)

I've recently been on a rash of dates. As reaction, I've been mentally composing blogs with bad titles (the worst being "what men want"). I have been a little confused, a little surprised, and much more caught up in looking cute than I normally am on a Sunday evening. I can be a little insecure when it comes to the whole dating thing. Sometimes, I don't connect to people and feel bad. Other times, I get caught up and then I hope.

Then, in a moment of quiet, I realized I was focused on all of the stuff I try to avoid in my life--questioning the things I do, over analyzing, not enjoying moments for they are. I am going on dates. I am not facing the firing squad. I could meet someone I like.

When I allow myself to be motivated by fear, I don't like what happens. When I just go ahead and do what I want to do, I am normally pretty happy with the results.

MTA Idol (life)

I spent quite a bit of time on the subway this week. For the first time in a long time, it made sense for me to get a weekly unlimited pass rather than putting $20 on a MetroCard. I used the networks of tunnels to get me from here to there.

I enjoy hearing the music of truly talented people who populate the stations. I enjoy thinking about the construction and interweaving of tunnels that hold life blow ground. I don't even mind waiting as an R, then a G, and then a V pass before your train arrives (unless there is a distinct farm animal smell that seems to be ever present these days or I am very tired).

Last nights ride home held something I have been noticing quite a bit these days. Out of nowhere, people begin to sing. The sing a few notes and then continue on with their conversation. They sing a toned down version of what I like to think of as a Star Search flourish. It's slightly Mariah Carey...but, without the octave range. Although I have never actually sat through an entire show, I blame American Idol.

iBook update, plumbing, and the backwaters of Kerala (life)

Quick little updates whilst my coffee brews:
la iBook...c'est mort. Well, it's dead to me, for now (I can't say that in French because I never studied hard enough to say anything but the most basic stuff). Apple has it somewhere, waiting for something. Some kind of all points bulletin was put out for my parts. But, so far, nothing. What's a girl to do?

Sprio came and fixed my toilet at 5 in the afternoon. After some crazy mechanical sounds poured out of my bathroom, he said it was fixed. And, well, he did replace the pipe that snapped off in my hands and put in a new blue thing. But, that blue thing is too big for my old-school toilet. Ye olde toilet ran all day and all night. I had to dive in to the tank and push the blue thing over the hole to make it stop this morning. Now, I guess Spiro must return. But, I'm not calling anyone until tonight. My poor out-of-state visitor had to wait with me in my apartment all day. We tried to use our inside-time well by creating little art. But, she can do that anywhere. She cannot do NYC stuff anywhere. I don't want that to happen again. I'm working against Greek Easter, though. It might not be possible for me to get anything done soon. I'm pretty sure everyone involved (except me, of course) will be busy spinning baby goats on their spits.

Kerala seems like the best place to go this summer. For a short while, we had decided on the Himalayan region (Calcutta, Darjeeling, etc). But, after reading a somewhat terrifying depiction of their monsoons as sheets of cold rain that never end, we decided that might not be the best place to go. Turns out Kerala is actually a suggested destination to visit India in the summer. We can go on backwater tours, visit the hugging mother, check out some Ayurvedic treatments and enjoy the warm gentle rain that is unique to this part of southern India. I'm so excited.

toilets and cross cultural experiance(life)

This morning, showing off some of my plumbing skills, I attempted to fix my toilet. It seemed to me that the chain had slipped off of the flush valve. I lifted the lid off of the tank and attempted to jiggle the stuff around (which is actually the vast majority of my previously mentioned plumbing skills) and a pipe came off in my hands.

I called my Greek landlord and told him what happened. He assured me that he would call me back soon. I looked at the friend I have in from out-of-town and had to break the news that our plans needed to change--I needed to stay in the area to be on call for the plumber.

We waited all day. I realized my landlord and I have never been able to really understand one another over the phone. I called him back and he assured me he had left a message for the plumber. We waited. We walked. We found a meat market with multi-lingual butchers. We ate fresh biscotti. We wandered through an Egyptian and Moroccan grocery in search of Bengali flour (which we did not find). And, then my landlord called. I was a 30 minute walk from my house and he said the plumber would be there in 15 minutes. When my landlord said the plumber would look and probably fix my toilet tomorrow, I realized had never actually told my landlord that I thought the toilet was not currently able to perform it's toilet-y duties. And, then practically ran home.

When I arrived, Spiro was waiting. He came up and looked, told me that the toilet is old and would have broken soon any way, and said he would call tomorrow to let me know when he could fit me in. Not such good news when you had plans on showing a friend around the city. But, as he said, that is always the way. And, then he told me how I can flush the toilet in it's current state.

The good news is I get to spend all of this waiting time with a friend tomorrow. And, tonight's dinner will be the dry sausage the Eastern European butcher gave my friend and me for free.

vacation (life)

I am currently enjoying my second day of vacation. So far, it has been devoid of many things I often associate with my life--interaction, movement, um...personal maintenance. Wonderful and horrible. I think I am wired to need these days. Normally, I am a fan of interacting with my world. Every few weeks, however, I seem to need a break. So, I took one.

I think it's almost over. I have turned off the television and put on music. I am hydrating. I am planning to take a shower which is followed by hair brushing. [Yesterday's shower did not involve the hair brushing part. I am now sporting hair that makes me look like a Jersey girl and adds a few inches to my 5 foot 7 self.]

All of this alone time has given me the chance to think about some things. First of all, I am hardly ever alone anymore. I lived on my own for four years and had all sorts of alone time rituals. Now, I have rediscovered the joy of having people around all of the time and I have kind of forgotten how to keep myself entertained. I also forgot the slight panic I can feel when I am alone in an apartment at night. There were some major boogy-man thoughts and "what was that?" moments last night. But, I made it through and my dear friend is flying in tonight. So, that problem should solve itself.

Since my friend is coming into town, I've been doing a little research on the things I want to do while she is here. Some of the highlights include a 40 foot grass slope (which you can roll down) at a gallery in Soho, a multi-media exhibit on plants and fungi, and a circuit bending festival.

I want our week to be filled with good things--food, sites, events. But, I also want to show her my favorites: the park, the walks, the tiny little shop with the best coffee...my world. When she showed me her world, she showed me beautiful hikes, community, and an idea of what life in northern NM looks like. I want her to get to see the context of my life. It makes things better when you are so far apart.